Forum Replies Created
January 3, 2016 at 6:56 am #91194
Oh wow… Jerry Springer wouldn’t touch this this with a 6 feet pole.
You got played hard. Lick your wounds, learn from the situation and move on ASAP.December 19, 2015 at 1:50 am #89928
Stress is all about how you frame it in your mind.
When you stand on the edge of a high building and the adrenaline and cortisol starts flowing in your bloodstream you can interpret that as a fear of death. Instead, another way to look at the response is it is your desire to live. Our desires make our life interesting and exciting, without desire we can not live.
Without desire we would not care if we fell from that high ledge. Without desire we would not care to eat, drink, go after relationships or earn money. The feeling you experience as stress is your greatest blessing, it means there are still territories left unexplored in your life. A rich life isn’t a life without hardship, it’s experiencing the totality of reality – inner and outer. When you have experienced everything you want to experience, you can die in peace.
When you have a negative attitude towards being out of your comfort zone you are simply not present enough when it happens. You are projecting negative images when it happens in stead of staying with them. When you are standing on that ledge you are probably visualizing yourself falling down in a horrible way, this will cripple us. In stead you should feel blessed for your body to give you extra glucose and oxygen to navigate you away from that ledge.December 17, 2015 at 2:49 am #89820
You have to understand that you thinking not getting a girlfriend is your problem in not getting a girlfriend. If you have made up in your mind you are not worthy to spend your life someone, you will act that way outward.
You should dress nice and properly groom yourself because it makes YOU feel good, not the people around you. You don’t have to constantly worry if you look good or not. In the morning you just have to fix your hair, put on some nice clothes and groom yourself. After that, it’s people’s opinion if they think you look good or not. All that matters is that YOU think it looks good or not.
I think you should address the perfectionistic side of you. It’s good to have high standards, but when high standards start giving you anxiety it becomes a problem. It puts you into “all or nothing” mode, not a mode which is sustainable and will make you happy.
December 17, 2015 at 2:41 am #89819
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by vizual.
Life is supposed to be fun, everything should be made fun of.
When you start taking life too serious is the moment you let suffering into your life. People get offended by jokes is because they have created an identity out of something they are not. Making jokes of people’s self defined identity can make them defensive and hostile, but don’t delude yourself into thinking you are some saint just because you “respect” people by not making jokes about their insanity. All you do is keep feeding their delusions.
We all have to let go of our delusions eventually, even if it takes death to get us there.December 16, 2015 at 2:37 am #89783
I’d say go for it if he still have genuine feelings for him. You can’t argue yourself out of it if he still deeply love him. You will know how it works out if you don’t test the waters at least. I personally would not try to play games with him. Maybe just call him up sometime and see how he’s doing in life. It’s better to blow up and go out with a bang than to forever wonder what if… (well that’s my philosophy hehe)
It probably won’t be easy for you, but the payoff might be big. Even if it doesn’t work out, it will be easier to get over it since your mind can’t play tricks on you by feeding you stories of what might have been…December 15, 2015 at 10:46 am #89747
Oh Glenda is a troll. Didn’t even realize it
Good one though 🙂 Pretty funnyDecember 15, 2015 at 5:48 am #89740
You can’t “master” your emotions. Because if there is a master who is mastering your emotion, then who masters the master? And who masters the masters master? 🙂
The best thing you can do is being present with your emotions. Watch them, don’t judge or label them. There are no good or bad emotions. If you perceive them as either good or bad you are not present with them. You are getting lost in the stories about your emotions.
December 15, 2015 at 5:42 am #89739
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by vizual.
Condemning your sins is just as bad as committing sins. Or labeling your sins as “sins”. By trying to resist your sins you give your sins even more power over you.
Focus on moving toward happiness, don’t focus on moving away from misery.December 13, 2015 at 5:49 am #89582
We all look at the world from a different perspective. If she is all enthusiastic, fired up and extraverted she can’t place herself in you when you are the opposite. When she herself is quiet, she probably is depressed or sad and assumes other people are as well when they are not extraverted.
I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm, but you had to express your discontent with her remark. In stead you choose to dwell on it and let it express itself in a more hateful way later on. The best thing in any relationship is to be open and honest. Say her remark hurt your feelings and move on from there. Don’t keep these feelings hanging around in the air, friendships are supposed to be an experience of joy.December 13, 2015 at 4:20 am #89579
Becoming good at something can learn you a lot of yourself, life and the world. And it can definitely give you a high self-esteem if it’s respected by people. However, it can also become problematic if you depend your self-worth on the things you became good at. Since there will – most likely – always be people better than you. And there will come a time you will lose interest in the thing you became good at if you do it long enough. There will be times you won’t perform as well as you thought you would.
Becoming really good at something helps us learn to be in the present moment. You can’t perform at a high level without being present. Let the activities you love help you in becoming more in tune with yourself and the world. When you recognize this, you can draw the self-esteem from yourself, without depending on external factors. Only then, can you truly become self confident.December 13, 2015 at 4:08 am #89577
When someone gets cut, the best thing a doctor can do is put in stitches. The body still has to do all the healing on its own.
He has his own journey he is on to find the happiness in himself again. The best you can do is to respect his wishes and be there for him when when he is ready. If you try to push yourself on him it will only drift you apart.December 13, 2015 at 3:29 am #89576
The problem most people have when manifesting something is that they try to manifest things from a place of lack – a place of scarcity. They try to fill a hole with the thing they want to manifest. If you want to win big you have be fully willing to lose big. The result is you, probably, unconsciously tried to somehow force love into your life. And that’s when the problems arise.
I don’t know what your mentality is when meeting guys. But the best approach is to forget about seeking love, scanning if he is a potential partner, sizing him up. Don’t label a date as a “date”, but just try to have fun. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t work out, that’s great as well. Even when it doesn’t work out with someone, at least it gave you some new perspective on a person. More experience. I don’t know if you’re meditating, but maybe do some meditation before you go on a date. Working out can also make you more present.
Remember you can’t MAKE someone love you, and you can’t make yourself to love someone aswell. You have to let go and see if there’s a connection there.December 12, 2015 at 2:20 am #89535
It sounds like you are using alcohol to run away from problems, things you are not addressing in your life. I don’t think the alcohol is the problem itself, only your way to cover it up. If you keep running away you will never fix it and it will keep coming back. If you don’t address it and you quit the alcohol you will use something else to run away, maybe something more subtle. The only way to deal with your problems is to face them head on, you can’t weasel around it and hope for a miracle outside of yourself.December 12, 2015 at 2:15 am #89534
Anxiety and fear is a “problem” since the dawn of time. Thousands of books and stories have been written about fear. Religions deal with fear.
If it’s really incapacitating you that much in life it could be useful to go to your doctor and get someone to talk to and maybe get some anti-anxiety meds. Even though medication is never the solution for long-term happiness, they might give you some short-term relief.
To start fixing the root of the problem you have to realize you can’t eliminate fear. Our response is a highly sophisticated survival mechanism, without it we would not be on the top of the food chain. The problem is that we look through life solely through the eyes of the ego. We identify ourselves as the ego(the defense mechanism), while the ego is only a part of us – it’s not the only thing we are.
The ego is trying to keep you save, but it’s very irrational. It will see dangers where there are no real dangers. In the case of social anxiety, it will see danger in social interactions. There were probably times in your life where you were emotionally hurt by things people said, your defense mechanism is simply trying to keep you safe from more emotional pain. That’s what it does, it’s trying to keep you alive. It makes no distinction between physical and emotional pain, pain is pain.
The only way you can truly eliminate the root of the problem is to transcend the ego. To fully “feel” that your ego is just one part of you, not the whole you. You can’t destroy the ego, and living solely through your ego will give problems as well. It’s really hard to give practical tips because I don’t know where you are on your journey, I don’t know you as a person. I can only encourage you to keep looking within. Go meditate, maybe yoga, read spiritual books, maybe talk to someone for guidance, read articles. Getting rid of your crippling anxiety will be a process, you will need to have several epiphanies to “cure” yourself. You just need to have faith that you can definitely figure this out eventually.December 11, 2015 at 3:08 pm #89471
A gift implies that something is given to me by someone else. Since I am the universe and the universe is me, calling my life a gift is undervaluing my own place. As if there is something else than me or bigger than me that’s giving me a position of privilege.
I do love this experience of life though. But using words like gifts, love, appreciation, gratitude are just semantics anyway when trying to describe your experience of life.