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Master emotions

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  • #89685
    Meg
    Participant

    I’m okay with being emotional but I’m not okay with not being able to control them or turn them off when it’s necessary especially negative emotions…lately I’ve been feeling up and down with my feelings it’s like idk where I’m going in life or where I want to go seems impossible because of the work and sacrifice. My love life has also been a big problem for me as well I want love but also want to have fun and enjoy having options until I found love however it seems like when I’m really interested in someone which is rare I fall for them and end up flat on my face.

    I’m dealing with a problem right now I work with someone I think I might’ve fallen in love with I’m not sure if it’s love but this girl has a lot of power with my heart sadly the love isn’t mutual and she is dealing with another person idk if she’s dating them but she is definitely romantically interested and that cuts me deep because I’ve invested my feelings and time with this this girl for a year and we’ve been intimAte and she made it seem like she wanted to focus on herself and can’t put any energy in anyone because she just got out of a long term relationship but after she pushed me away I told her we were just going to be just friends since that’s what she wants but I lied and she knew it she told me she didn’t know what we had and was confused and wanted things to just be what they were and be friends but I honestly don’t like confusion so I’m trying to let her go but I’ve been struggling with the fact that she’s dealing with another person I feel betrayed and hurt I really love this girl and care for her deeply but I also love myself as well so my heart won’t tolerate just being an option when Ive showed this woman nothing but the upmost respect and genuine love I feel crazy when I’m around her she doesn’t see it because I cover it up with pride and this carefree attitude but inside I’m dying I’m emotional I want to strangle her yet kiss her and these love hate emotions drive me crazy she’s not a bad person either she smiles in my face genuinely but in my head it’s fake because she hasn’t told me about the person which I know is not my business because we never been in a relationship but it still hurts that she doesn’t care and flaunts her romantic interest on social media I hate that I work with her and have to be reminded of someone else making her happy. We never dated but it felt like a relationship from how we’ve dealt with each other so it’s been hard for me lately I wish I never met her I’d never put my hands on her but that’s how deep she cut me to the point of wanting to strangle her I’ve become attached to her emotionally and I’m trying to detach myself but it’s hard when I have to see her almost every day smiling and being happy while I’m struggling inside. Also I have a strong passion for music but I’m never satisfied when creating I always feel like I can do better or I get lost in my head rather just letting things flow and it depresses me because I truly want to get better and start a business selling my heart felt compositions. This is why I want to truly find out how to master my emotions I believe when I master my emotions I’ll have master the world because I will no longer hold myself back. Also I think my love life would be soooo much better lol

    #89688
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Meg,

    That was one big run-on sentence, wow! LOL

    OK, two things I picked up that it SEEMED like you were mentioning in passing, but are actually very important. One is you work with your beloved almost every day. And the other is that you were intimate. Those two things don’t mix!! If you work with someone, don’t get involved. And if you were involved with someone (even as a one time thing) don’t work together!

    What I would do is “Hide” her on social media and work away from her if possible.

    And emotions are great, by the way! They are one of your many Guidance Systems. If your emotions were turned off, you wouldn’t know what excites you, what is bad news, or any of that. Obviously don’t be carried away by them, but it’s important to notice them, absolutely.

    As for the music, try to do both by doing it AND having a regular job. I’m nervous myself in having my art totally support me. But I still create it. Selling it isn’t even the point. Just get your stuff out there!

    Blessings,

    Inky

    #89692
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear meg:

    Letting your distressing thoughts and emotions go on and on and on is like going on and on and on with a sentence. I used to operate that way. Then I learned to place periods in between the thoughts and emotions. Here is a distressing thought and before I know it it escalates anther thought joins it as i try to analyze the first thought and figure it out i am already in distress and i think of something to eat so to feel better and wow stop right here. There it is, the period. A break. Ah, another break. Better.

    Got to take those breaks with nothing in them. No thinking, no feeling, breathe. You get nowhere good and fast by not taking a break. Good thinking can happen when calm, not when distressed.

    Would you like to re-write your post with breaks, as an exercise to benefit you? Start the re-writing and you can let go of the original post as you do, new things come to awareness and there it is, a new post with more clarity…?

    anita

    #89740
    vizual
    Participant

    You can’t “master” your emotions. Because if there is a master who is mastering your emotion, then who masters the master? And who masters the masters master? 🙂

    The best thing you can do is being present with your emotions. Watch them, don’t judge or label them. There are no good or bad emotions. If you perceive them as either good or bad you are not present with them. You are getting lost in the stories about your emotions.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by vizual.
    #89743
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * Dear vizual: I would like to try and answer your (to me) brilliant question: who is the master? The master is the one not wanting to be inconvenienced with unpleasant emotions. It is the one who says: Don’t bother me with this or that. Just stop crying, stop whining, stop being such a … and be nice! Put a smile on your face and don’t bother me again!

    Who is that “master” – a rejecting parent, internalized, I say.

    anita

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