Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Always second guessing and being so hard on myself
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December 11, 2015 at 8:23 pm #89518JuneParticipant
I’m new to this site but here it goes. I’m struggling with constantly feeling guilt ridden, second guessing myself, depressed and coping with it in unhealthy ways. It’s a crappy cycle. I am happy one day, the next I’m lonely so I socialize and drink, feel worse the next day and sit in the guilt of drinking too much, saying something I shouldn’t have and it repeats. I’m so over it. My partner is working away and I feel like I’m going crazy by being so up and down. He does not understand it and sometimes makes me feel worse about things I already know I messed up about. Everyone says I’m being to hard on myself but I can’t get over it. It’s anxiety and guilt and booze. I’ve now decided to limit my drinking. I feel like I have a problem around shutting it down when I start drinking and drink too much. I feel though it’s the time that I talk and or deal with stuff that otherwise I suppress. It sounds like so much fun right.
December 12, 2015 at 2:20 am #89535vizualParticipantIt sounds like you are using alcohol to run away from problems, things you are not addressing in your life. I don’t think the alcohol is the problem itself, only your way to cover it up. If you keep running away you will never fix it and it will keep coming back. If you don’t address it and you quit the alcohol you will use something else to run away, maybe something more subtle. The only way to deal with your problems is to face them head on, you can’t weasel around it and hope for a miracle outside of yourself.
December 12, 2015 at 6:21 am #89541InkyParticipantHi June,
The ups and downs… Find someone reputable ~ a professional ~ and find out what’s going on. What you’re describing can also be a sign of bi-polarism. But of course what do I know? I’m just a stranger on the internet! But you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to nip this ~ whatever it is ~ in the bud.
See a doctor if you haven’t this year!
Inky
December 12, 2015 at 8:00 am #89543AnonymousGuestDear June:
The anxiety, guilt, second guessing, this kind of distress means there are things to pay attention to, things to be SEEN, heard, acknowledged, attended to. Until then, those… things will keep trying to get your attention. For as long as you do not attend to what needs to be attended to, the anxiety, guilt, second guessing, distress will continue AND your brain will take the breaks from that distress by having “happy days” and then back to the same old, same old.
When did this begin? Go back to when it started, however back it takes, and share here if you will. I will read attentively and respond.
anita
December 12, 2015 at 9:15 am #89551JuneParticipantThanks for the support. I’m defiantly not bi polar. I have a very stressful job with a company which isn’t the best around making sure staff can debrief traumatic events. I’ve been to a psychologist and she said I’m too hard on myself and that I don’t hold anyone else to the standards I hold myself.
December 12, 2015 at 8:06 pm #89566AnonymousGuestDear June:
I don’t pay much attention to psychiatric diagnoses. Those are about clusters of symptoms and not about root causes. And then those diagnoses are marketed for financial reasons, for selling psychiatric drugs that fit certain diagnoses. There are more and more diagnoses all the time and some are “hot” at a particular time, often diagnosed because they are heavily marketed. A few years ago it was bi polar for adults and ADHD for children, I think for kids the hot diagnosis changed from ADHD to what is it called… autism, that’s it. So, I wouldn’t pay much attention to those artificial, heavily marketed, financially motivated psychiatric diagnoses and the drugs sold for each diagnosis. Look for the root causes, my post above, it you would like.
anita
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