Make healthy self-esteem your priority

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This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 11 months ago by Zach Chen.

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December 8, 2015 at 5:12 pm #89267
jock
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If I have any regrets now it is this.
I didn’t make healthy self-esteem a priority when I was younger. I believe it was the root cause of my issues ever since then.
Aim to become good at something. Whether it is playing guitar or writing a short-story or giving a speech. Get to the point where you feel “I am now above average at this.” But don’t rest on your laurels.Keep going.
And hopefully it is your passion too.
My core weak area was social confidence. Speaking in a large group. I needed to hone in , on voice projection, speak positively, decrease nervous body-language,, speak with a heart, try to connect. But I didn’t learn this until now. (oops late fiftees)
Confidence is an issue for a lot of us. We have to learn to believe that we have something unique to offer. To gain confidence, we need to work on ourselves, our awareness and our communication skill. Start from square one and build.
So if there is anything I can advise young people it is to work on your confidence and self-belief. If you have it already, good luck to you. If you don’t, then stop and think how can I develop it. Confidence contributes to well-being and happiness. Self-doubt is like a chronic illness that is debilitating. I should know. I’ve had a long time now.
- This topic was modified 9 years ago by jock.
December 8, 2015 at 5:24 pm #89269

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Jack:

Surprise (not)- I am first to comment. I like your share, I would have love to read it when I was young. I like it very much. This could be a great introduction to a college course, maybe high school and college. Becoming good at, above average at something, keep going; having something unique to offer, work on self awareness and communication skills; start square one and build…this is so good I find myself repeating what you wrote…
anita

December 8, 2015 at 5:29 pm #89270

Anonymous
Guest

Wait a minute, why are you trying to improve your public speaking which has been your weakness? Writing poems is a strength you have, something you are ALREADY above average… Writing scripts as in your inner selves board meetings, you are already way above average. What if you leave public speaking be and focus on what you are already above average at, and I don’t mean only poetry and script writing.
anita

December 8, 2015 at 5:44 pm #89272

jock
Participant

public speaking is like that mandatory skill (for many career paths) that we have to learn whether we like it or not (in my opinion)
some take to it like naturals, the rest of us have to work at it until we become much better than we thought we could ever become. Everyone has at least one winner speech and that is their life story. Because all of our lives are unique.
We might lack good voice modulation or be too serious but if we speak about something we care about, it doesn’t really matter.

Now I’ve confused the essence of this thread, haven’t I.

December 8, 2015 at 5:59 pm #89273

jock
Participant

Anita
I don’t really think I’m good at poetry.
Just some childish nonsense stuff that has to rhyme.
Poetry is not exactly going to make you famous or rich anyway.
OOps negative mode again.
thanks for your encouragement. todays quote in fact was “we have enough critics in the world. be an encourager.” which is what you are.

December 8, 2015 at 6:39 pm #89274

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Jack:

True, poetry is not likely to make anyone rich these days and you have a talent and skill for writing poetry and other things, playing skillfully with language. “Just some childish nonsense stuff that has to rhyme”- this sentence in itself is good writing.

“Oops negative mode again”- realistic mode (not negative) as far as poetry not likely to bring you significant money if any. Negative mode only in not taking in the fact that you are an exceptionally good writer (says I).

“If we speak about something we care about, it(voice modulation, etc.) doesn’t really matter.” “Everyone has at least one winner speech.” I am now motivated, by this sentence and this thread, to give MY WINNER SPEECH in a new thread. Maybe not tonight, but soon!!!
anita

December 13, 2015 at 4:20 am #89579

vizual
Participant

Becoming good at something can learn you a lot of yourself, life and the world. And it can definitely give you a high self-esteem if it’s respected by people. However, it can also become problematic if you depend your self-worth on the things you became good at. Since there will – most likely – always be people better than you. And there will come a time you will lose interest in the thing you became good at if you do it long enough. There will be times you won’t perform as well as you thought you would.

Becoming really good at something helps us learn to be in the present moment. You can’t perform at a high level without being present. Let the activities you love help you in becoming more in tune with yourself and the world. When you recognize this, you can draw the self-esteem from yourself, without depending on external factors. Only then, can you truly become self confident.

January 4, 2017 at 1:19 am #124474
jessie malony
Participant
Self esteem can shape more when you are on the child developmental stage, so always teach your kids to be more confidence and active on all various indoor and outdoor activities. If you plan to let your kids the best public speaker someday or even more professional presenter, at their very young you should start shaping and curving their minds on this interest that they maybe more productive in the future. In fact there are also improvisation programs and workshop that you can enroll them and learn the best of it, check this http://smartleesecreative.com/ , I have heard many good stories about this training facility.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by jessie malony.
January 4, 2017 at 3:47 am #124476

Zach Chen
Participant

Hi Jock and Anita,

it is true that self esteem is very important in a person’s life, and quality of life, in particular.

It does help when we hear from more people’s accounts as we get older and learn from many more life experiences than our own.

January 4, 2017 at 3:51 am #124477

Zach Chen
Participant

Hi Vizual,

I love your notion of self esteem being an innate thing that can exude regardless of what you do, where you are and how other’s perceive you. It feels like the “oopmh” that you have inside you that drives you to face life with passion.

January 4, 2017 at 5:03 am #124480

Zach Chen
Participant

Hi Jessiemalony,

agreed that family and parents play a vital role in our formative years. We model after and take their feedback on us as gauge of ourselves at that developmental stage.

Nice discussion here with all of you 🙂
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