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Insecurity and damage to a relationship

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #279481

    Princess258
    Participant

    Hi readers,

    I have been with my man for 12 years, since I was 21.  We met and I was a call centre worked and he was a bar man.  I remember never being insecure about him wanting anyone else and if others flirted with him I used to laugh it off but now I’m the opposite.

    However I now work in construction with a lot of men and he works with a lot of women as a bar manager.  Unfortunately, they seem to have a family work scenario going on and some woman and one guy call him Dad, he has a work wife and even a crazy uncle (the boss).  I don’t know what to think of this situation that arose at Christmas when my boyfriend gifted his work daughter a hoodie saying “daddy’s girl”.   Would anyone else have an issue with this and does it seem any worse that she took a photo of her kissing his neck at her drunken party?  Apparently she eventually apologised but I feel really insecure about his work relationships and now my man wants to dump me.  I’m sure if my boss sent me home with a similar hoodie that my bf wouldn’t like it.

    Help please.  Also, does anyone have advice about overcoming insecurity that actually works please?

    Thanks.

    #279541

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess258:

    “and now my man wants to dump me”- you mean he wants to end his relationship with you, to break up?

    The drunken party you mentioned, that was with his .. other family, you were not present there, I assume. I see a problem where alcohol is involved and a man is close with a work wife and a “daddy’s girl” who is perhaps much younger than him and flirtatious is involved. On the other hand, it makes his work environment much more  pleasant that way, keeps it entertaining, not boring.

    anita

    #279657

    Princess258
    Participant

    Yeah well he thinks my questioning of her and his intentions is out of order and yes he wants me to move out.

    I wasnt invited to this party and I wasnt told either until I bumped in to his friend who told me that my bf didn’t want to be the only guy so he invited him too.

     

     

    #279673

    Princess258
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: center;”>Thank you for your response Anita.  When you mentioned him keeping the work place less boring, do you have any advice about how I should or should have dealt with this please?  Do you think it may be that I’m not sexy enough for him? His work wife used to text him at 5am after they finished work and one night she text him saying “xxxx you’re amazing! Xxxx” – would anyone else be suspicious of this?   Its been so draining that I have found it difficult to believe that none of this is either kept going or caused by him.  He told me to trust him and not care what the other girls behave like. Thanks</p>
     

    #279683

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Princess258:

    Reality is that your boyfriend has been attending drunken parties with other women, parties to which you were not invited. One woman texted him: “xxxx you’re amazing! Xxxx”, another kissed his neck, and that is only what you know happened during parties and otherwise at the bar scene where he spends many hours around alcohol and women.

    I think that he doesn’t want you to rain on his parade, on the arrangement he has. You may be one of the sexiest women on earth, but lots of women look sexy during drunken parties and they think he is sexy too. When a man is after having fun above all else and has his fun, well, that is all he cares about, isn’t it?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 2 days ago by  anita.
    #279805

    Mark
    Participant

    Princess258,

    All you need to know is that this guy is dumping you.

    I hope you are not insecure because of this guy being a philandering dickwad.  Time to move on.  He has not grown up in the 12 years you have been with him.  Hopefully you have.  Time to grow up and be with those who share the same values and live a lifestyle that is in alignment with yours.

    Mark

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