I, personally, don’t believe in the traditional concept of destiny. So I can’t answer your question regarding destiny. I think if you get too “in your head” and over think things you definitely throw off your intuition and ability to read situations. If this involves another person I recommend following advice I was given long ago. If the person has been untrustworthy in the past then you can assume they are being untrustworthy again unless they’ve committed to changing and actually shown an effort. Even then, you need to proceed with an abundance of caution. If they’ve never done anything untrustworthy then you owe it to them and yourself to give them the benefit of doubt and trust them.

As far as other situations, relax, breathe and trust that things will evolve as they should. And trust that you will have the ability to not only make it through whatever comes but actually benefit, grow and become happier for it.

Dear Wisdom:

It is scary to change what we believe to be true. So I think I understand the fear part of your confusion. It is not as simple as an intellectual exercise, to change one’s beliefs …after believing a certain way for so long. So I am concerned about your level of distress as you question long held beliefs.

Please keep yourself as calm as possible. Postpone thinking about these things for later… and later. Don’t overwhelm yourself at any one time.

This is really a natural part of growing up as a human being, looking at what we believed and what is true, and figuring out that not all we believed is true. For example any young child believes their parents are these strong, protective, and correctly-thinking people, almost gods, really. And as a child grows up and matures, the growing child, teenager (and you, Wisdom, are only 19) starts to believe that their parents are not gods, not always correct (or hardly..) and often, not strong and not protective.

So naturally we change beliefs. Ease into it, Wisdom. Write to me/ here anytime and I will reply when I am at the computer. Take good care of yourself!

anita

Dear Wisdom:

You are not required to give up on love. For as long as it makes you feel safe or that there is something to live for, then hold on to that, to that guy online being your soul mate. Hold on to it for as long as you need to.

I think you are changing, on the verge of a change, considering different possibilities, afraid to let go of the old… I understand it very well.

So, don’t let go of the old, the beliefs you held on to for so long. Plenty of people believe all sorts of things that make them feel safer, less scared. There is nothing at all unusual about it.

But the doubt is in you already. You expressed it many times. Maybe you can make peace with… not knowing, with being in between. This is okay. You are not alone, being in between. I am in between myself, in between what I know and what I am yet to know.

No need to solve all problems and “fix it” today, or tomorrow.

I understand your frustration with having “no hobbies or drive to do anything” if you can’t do it great. I was like that too. You are young, Wisdom. Learning takes time. Be patient with yourself, very, very patient.

anita