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Is it possible? Self esteem, acceptance and self improvement

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • April 4, 2016 at 7:09 am #100794
    HippieChick
    Participant

    I have struggled my whole life with self esteem issues. I’ve never (until recently) been happy with my body the way it is. I’ve always been on one diet or another trying to make myself fit into a mild that probably will never work for me. I recently, over the last few years, started a journey to learn to be the best me I can. I was particularly impressed with “Overcoming Overeating”. I’ve learned to be truly happy in the skin I’m in and I think I’m pretty, sexy and worthy just as I am.

    However, I am currently about 15 pounds overweight and out of shape. I’d love to be more muscular and “fit” and finally fulfill my goal of running a 5k. Every time I start a fitness program or “diet” I become very “down” on myself and it leads to me starting to have those same negative thoughts about myself and my body. Can you truly be happy “as you are” and still improve yourself? How can I reconcile those two things? I don’t want to undo all the good things I’ve done mentally. I’m FINALLY happier than I’ve ever been as a woman!

    Any advice would be appreciated!

    April 4, 2016 at 7:23 am #100795
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear HippieChick:

    Because of the negativity you experienced in the past in association with eating better and exercising, now that you think of these things, the negativity established already in connection with these two things (positive in themselves) returned, naturally.

    The only way to overcome this is to create new connections, or associations between eating better/ exercising and positive feelings.

    TO do that you have to do these things differently: diet and exercise. Not the same ways as before. Your goal and focus doing these things needs to be different than before.

    This time the goal is not: change this unsatisfactory body to satisfactory but something like.. well, you come up with a different goal if you are following and agreeing with me so far. The goal needs to be yours, totally yours. Looking forward to your reply.

    anita

    April 4, 2016 at 8:02 am #100799
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi HippieChick,

    May I recommend the book The Power of Now to buy, read or reread.

    One concept which is very important is to recognize that: You are already complete and perfect (life itself). Any improvement (life situation) you make is now then fun and optional ~ yet not essential!

    I say sign up for the 5K now, and then pick a training plan to get you ready for that date! (If I can do it you can do it!!) 😀

    Same with a meal plan (while recognizing that sometimes life gets in the way).

    And remember to Have Fun!!

    Best,

    Inky

    April 4, 2016 at 8:31 am #100805
    HippieChick
    Participant

    Thank you for the very helpful replies. I will definitely check that book out! I love reading. 🙂 I’m thinking of using the couch to 5k app to help train for a 5k. It’s been a goal of mine for so long….and that way it’s not tied to anything being “wrong” with me, just another goal I want to accomplish. I think it will help to build some positive associations in my mind. I’m just soooooo hard on myself when I have an off day or take a miss step which I know will happen. But thanks again for the advice!

    April 4, 2016 at 8:46 am #100807
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear HippieChick:

    You are welcome. I wrote about the Inner Critic in another thread today- the Inner Critic that in many people, like you wrote, is “sooooo hard” on oneself. There are ways to turn down the ongoing commentary by that abusive Inner Critic, weaken it so it stops acting against you.

    anita

    April 4, 2016 at 9:10 am #100809
    Ghostwriter
    Participant

    Hi HippieChick

    Over the past three years I have lost 75 pounds (divorce kicked off the weight loss) and still was not overly confident in my appearance. So, then I did what I felt was the unthinkable, and I stopped smoking…it’s been 3 weeks, but I have maintained this. And, I loaded the Couch to 5k app onto my cell phone and I am doing it. Take it from me, it works! (the first week training I did twice before moving on to week 2)
    One thing that I have found though, is that I no longer know what I weigh. And, it helps! Instead of concentrating on what my weight is, or what my weight goal is, I have changed to think in terms of “am I toning? am I developing muscle? do I feel good today?” If I can answer yes to one of those questions (especially the 3rd one) I am happy!
    Concentrate on you, make yourself happy and focus on any and all positives that you feel about yourself on any given day!

    April 4, 2016 at 10:12 am #100820
    HippieChick
    Participant

    Yes! I stopped weighing myself in late January. I would have a day where I felt great but I’d weigh myself and if I was 1 pound more than the day before I’d feel bad about myself even though I was just feeling confident and sexy. Now I just rely on how I feel and think I look in the mirror. It took me forever to appreciate myself and I refuse to give the scale the power to take that away on a daily basis.

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