no, no, no, not evil, not even close.

Okay. 🙂

From what you shared, particularly the sleepover suggestion on her part, doesn’t leave much space for you being wrong about her being infatuated with him.

I wanted to ask your opinion Anita and I know you DO NOT know this, as well as I do not know this. I might assume more because I talk to her etc but she is the only one who knows but… Do you think there’s a change she is not in love with him? That I am wrong? I talked to my gf about it and she says she is in love big time. No way she’s not. But she only assumes it from the story I told her so it’s hard to say..

And.. you are NOT evil. You are a good person, Caroline, I am sure of it

Thanks Anita, that’s very nice

Yes, I  trust your feelings. My trust is not blind, it’s a result of spending a lot of time reading your posts and communicating with you over time, on a variety of topics

Thank you Anita. That’s very nice

you don’t want to be used as a means for an end, the end being meeting him and spending time with him, and you don’t want to be lied to, as part of being used.

that’s exactly how it looks to me and how I feel about it.  I spent a lot of time with them both and I felt it.. it wasn’t the flirting, they were not that obvious  but there was something, you know what I mean? Sometimes you just feel… there is something going on. And he was kind of.. mesmerized with her too. He even told me one time he was idolizing her, just like that. It was something he felt and knew and he said it like it was obvious, nothing new, for him. He liked her, he liked the attention and now he probably…got wiser. Because his wife was pregnant, so..come on.

And.. see? I’ve been talking about this like it is my business. I don’t like that, this whole fact that I am involved in this.

pretending that she wants to meet you and spend time with you because of a strong connection she allegedly has with you.

Exactly. she tells me this a lot, but I don’t feel it. I would describe it as we are coworkers or coworkers besties and that’s all. It’s a lot, I like her, yes, but it.. has its limitations.

it is not one of the worst crimes people commit against others, but it’s still wrong and hurtful to be used and lied to. So, if I was you, I will no longer allow her to use you.

I agree, it’s not the worst, knowing that we like each other. As I said, we do, but we would like meet once or twice a year, That’s how I see it.  I even suspect.. I don’t want to overdo it, maybe it was not on purpose, but now it looks otherwise.. she once came here for the whole weekend, to go for a concert. She arrived on Saturday and the concert was Saturday night, and she stayed till Sunday. She told us she was coming.. and none of us proposed a meeting. I could not meet and he, obviously couldn’t either. None of us said anything. But we all agreed to meet Sunday morning for a breakfast. The concert was.. not even particular band. It was music from various bands, like something.. nothing special and nothing particular. Some famous rock songs sang by different people. I believe it is not something you would drive for hours and stay for the whole weekend and spend money on. But I am not sure, right? I will never know. I am a bit angry for all this. (But it’s okay, it will pass, as you said it is not the worst crime.)

Her answer (“he is just annoying coz ‘he’s a guy‘”) reads like an answer an infatuated school girl would give when caught off guard with a question such as the one you asked her.

Yeah. So now I know. Also when I asked her she took loooooonnnggg to answer. I saw she was texting (you can see that in messenger) and it took long long time. And she answered something basic eventually and at the end she asked: is this what you were asking or … ?

So weird and shady and.. I don’t know. I think I have the right to be angry here.

So let’s see how this develops. I think she knows that I know. Even if she denied, she knows.. I asked this directly (good idea) so she is aware. We are planning to meet Saturday so I am hoping to get this resolved.

I don’t know what else to do. We text, not much but sometimes a lot. I am getting suspicious whether all this is real. I know I may overreact and IT IS real, to an extend of course. As I said, us being coworkers that like each other. But when we text a lot some days I get this weird feeling that I am being used and she’s not honest.

What else can I do. I asked directly, it was a good idea, she should have answered. End of story. But she lied. Maybe I should just.. chill a bit. I mean chill when it comes to communicating with her. Distance a bit.

Maybe by sending her an email, if you communicate by email. Otherwise, Sat comes, and I imagine that she’ll deny again that her interest is in seeing him and that she’s been using you as a means to that end.

I asked her again, now in texts. She joked something about being jealous of him.. And I asked what what do you mean, jealous of who, what? And she just replied jokingly about him and saying again that No, she does not like him.

so there’s that. I think the story will continue until.. I don’t know when.

Hey Anita. I don’t think I am obsessing. It may seem like it since it’s all I am writing about here and I was quite annoyed with it several times. But it’s more chill than it seems. Still I need to leave this topic for now and just see how it goes. I don’t think I should ask her about this more. The less involved I am in this the better. I think it’s the solution. To take a step back.