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Is this love?

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • August 3, 2015 at 9:50 pm #81182
    Lucie
    Participant

    Hello everybody

    I’m confused about my feelings for my friend. I’m 25. I know my friend since two years. We met several times. In the beginning i thought it was just friendship but with time my feelings changed for him but i was unable to accept that. I was scared because i was attached to him and felt jealous when he used to hang out with other girls. I explained to him to not message me often as i was in relationship with my boyfriend. I guess he knew about how i felt and maybe wanted me to utter it but i refrained.

    Time went by and frankly i don’t know why i miss him so much. My eyes in search of just a glance of him, when i get even a “hi how are you” message my heart pounded. But i prayed continuously for his happinness he meant too much for me. But i was committed to another guy. Last year in Nov he phoned me and was kind of explaining himself to me. Saying that i know we dont meet often and its been a long time etc etc.. and even that he’s no more single. I was panick attacked. I could not bear this pain i messaged and told him the truth that i fell for him but i’m very happy he got his girl and i was waiting for this day itself to tell him my feelings i dint want it to be dirty. he got his girl n i’d my man. Maybe on this note i’ll be at peace.

    BUT NO!Two years i feel the same and its even more. We keep in touch and recently he told me he’s single. Even i’m breaking up with my boyfriend because he is a womanizer. But all i want is to see my friend happy eventhough i feel my life is incomplete without him. I feel like crazy in love i feel happy that i fell i love with such a guy and love him forever without any expectations just he’s safe in his world and achieve everything in life.

    Yesterday was his birthday. We talked and i felt like enjoying every moment as if my soul was happy.

    I want to ask you all my friends on Tinybuddha about it. Is this love?

    Thanks in advance 🙂

    August 4, 2015 at 6:03 am #81191
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lucie,

    Whether this is love or merely a form of love, it sounds like he makes you happy. Your boyfriend gave you the gift of an excuse to dump him. You can dump the BF with NO regrets and be with your Friend now.

    Yay!

    Inky

    August 4, 2015 at 8:37 am #81204
    Lucie
    Participant

    @ inky thanks a lot dear. I’m moving away from my boyfriend. But to move on with my friend isn’t it a bit too early as I don’t know what does he think of me? After 4 years of a committed relationship and my boyfriend ditching me I think I need a break and creating my own space.

    August 4, 2015 at 9:20 am #81205
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lucie:

    The title of your post is: “Is this love?”

    My answer is: yes, this is love: “After 4 years of a committed relationship and my boyfriend ditching me I think I need a break and creating my own space.” It is you knowing what you need and intending to meet your need. Lesson learned, perhaps: can’t count on the boyfriend- he ditched me. Better nount on myself, better take care of myself first and re-evaluate what I need and want from a relationship. Better approach next relationship from a position of already being in the PRACTICE of identifying my valid needs and going about meeting them in ways that work, not in ways that don’t.

    anita

    August 4, 2015 at 10:14 am #81209
    Lucie
    Participant

    @ anita
    thanks a lot for this advice. 🙂

    August 4, 2015 at 10:25 am #81212
    Inky
    Participant

    Yes, it’s tricky. You need your own time and breathing space. I’d just hate for him to get a new girlfriend during that time. I would cast out some “feelers”. Don’t flirt with him. Let him flirt with you. If he does, lean in for a kiss. If he bridges the gap and kisses you, that’s your confirmation.

    August 4, 2015 at 11:35 pm #81252
    Lucie
    Participant

    @ Inky

    Hehe thanks loads. Okay i’ll not message him nor call let him do the step. But i forgot to mention i was telling him its time to marry he’s near 30. he was denying and abruptly he asked me ‘ will you marry me?’i replied ‘ do u think i lack problems?’ and he answered this ‘ oh so i’m a problem for you. Thank you’. so i changed the topic.Either i’ll be his love or be his close friend but I don’t want to be an option in his life. Because i love him and he knows that i care too much for him but just don’t show him he’s my weakness but at the same time he’s my strength that i fell for him. Bliss!

    August 5, 2015 at 3:22 am #81255
    Kat
    Participant

    Hi Lucie,

    That’s an interesting story you two have. I think it’s great that you feel strong in giving yourself some time to work things out. But I think because you understand how important it is to create some space for yourself there’s no harm in talking to your friend about your feelings. Maybe it’s not as romantic as some big declaration of love, but it could be what you both need to clear the air and open it up for a gradual development later on. If it really is love – and it sounds like it from your desire for you both to be happy as individuals – then he will respect your need for space to be your own person in a relationship too.

    Mostly, have courage! And good luck! 🙂

    August 6, 2015 at 2:40 am #81317
    Lucie
    Participant

    @ kat. Yes dr we talked about it he wants to date me but I want a committed relationship which maybe he doesnot want. He told me am a sweet girl this is why he wanna date me. but i love him This is the story about. Now I don’t know what to do.

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