Rewa,

Stop lamenting, foolish girl! Breathe, sit, look around you. Drop the future, stop running there, its empty, blank. Joy is here and now, strength is here and now, and Rewa is not here and now. So Rewa is appearing as weak, stupid, dark, entrenched.

Instead, here, now. Come here. Wake up. Look around. Joy rests in your perceptions, buddhahood a breath away from your mind. Home, abroad, monastery, it wouldn’t matter. Unsettled mind is unsettled mind. Stop trying to escape your karma, just breathe. If you want out, if you want to settle this, become free, its time to break the timber.

Step away, set it down, and aim better. Look for a way that you can make the world a better place, right now, and go do that. And again. And again. Mostly hugs, a little scrubbing here, a smile there. Learn to find peace in generous service. Fake it till you make it, natural dharmic process. Its your way out sister, so stop complaining and do it. Don’t forget to include yourself as a being you tend gently.

Consider “Bhante Gunaratana guided metta meditation” on YouTube, if interested. As much authenticity as you can, like clinging to a raft in choppy waters. Don’t despair, dear sister, I have faith in you, and so do others, seeing you, knowing you, loving you. You have to try, it has to grow on your side. We cant help if you push our love away. Its real, let it in. Others have felt this way, many of us, and sister, I have. Clouds of lighting. Its just empty, fuel, fertility, wakes you up. But you have to try, throw yourself against the fire and pass through it. Don’t be afraid, you’re a Buddha.

Sorry if anything stung, running little low on keys. Feel free to leave an email address, as I can see nothing skillful left to say to you, here.

With compassion,
Matt