yes agree, he is being presented these options as we speak because his mum now attempts to manipulate others or instigate others to bully me, outside of the family, aunts etc because she knows she has been stopped to behave like this and isnt allowed to say much to me. the sister on the hand knows where she stands so she wont behave inappropriately again. im testing the waters and trying to avoid visiting much or avoiding situations where toxic people will be present – trying to manage it smartly. but again i have a weak scared husband who im threatening time and again and when i present to him my concerns – he walks away and asks not to be involved and on top tries to say to put up with the bullying!!! of course these things are unacceptable but i am more and more ready to take the step or action against him once i feel enough is not being done and yes your right his dad is as weak as he can be after being suppressed by the wife for years. on the plus side he called me to inform me that a toxic aunt is present at his mums house before we go visit to get my answer to visit or not so that was my choice.

regarding my boss i am informing him that i am uncomfortable with all the frustrations directed at me during meetings etc and will say so professionally but its been hard to say anything while the behaviour is taking place!

Thanks, I have used your advice in a real life situation this week and walked away feeling better and i was able to speak up assertively and explain myself. all went well, the only thing that impacted me was that the person made me feel like i was not good enough for my husband by a question she asked me and this is not the first time i have felt that (she said did you not like any of the men you were introduced to before your husband, wasnt sure how to interpret that) i know that i am good as a person but i did walk away having low self esteem and feeling a bit incompetent as a person for my husband and he always tells me “people think that he should of done better, they had high hopes for him” i just interpret that as someone who is an amazing girl who has a top job, rich family etc etc – which i do not have but in the indian culture this is what is expected of mothers who get their sons or daughters married, general consensus seems to be this….either way its troubling me and i know somebody else or the past men i have passed would never feel that way but hey this is it really! in any case, these kind of topics are being discussed even though we have a child brought into this world, it disgusts me at times! as you said, i should avoid contact with those who are unkind and be assertive, in this case i decided to confront and see what this person had to say and test my behaviour out!