Dear patelh:

So he thinks you are not worthy of the marriage with him but has reasons to  not want a separation and divorce, and you don’t want to be in the marriage but have your own reasons for staying in it.

What this  means is that he thinks that although he is unsatisfied in the marriage, his life will be worse if separated from you. And you think that although unsatisfied in the marriage, your life will be worse if you separated from him.

And then, you figure other married people are not satisfied, so  it is normal. You are not the only one.

My input: I wouldn’t want you and your child to have a worse  life. Question is will a life separated from him be indeed worse for you and your child, or might it be better. Answer this question, if you can (now or at any time in the future) and you will know what to do.

anita

Dear patelh:

You mentioned earlier that the two of you showed disrespect to the other. If his comment about others thinking he could have done better, choosing another woman to marry, if he said that right after you expressed disrespect to him then it is somewhat understandable, that he reacted angrily.

Show him respect at all times (no exceptions) and demand that he does the same: always respect, no exceptions.

Regarding the unkind people that make your life difficult, I remember the suggestion I read long ago regarding difficult situations or circumstances: change them if you can; if you absolutely can’t change the situation or circumstance, leave or accept it completely.

So change all that you can (I know your husband showed some openness about moving) and accept all that you can not change, that is, stop hoping to change those things, stop waiting and longing for those things to change.

anita