Hi,

So last year i met a girl in office (say Priya). We started talking and we became friends, eventually i started liking her. When i met her i was going through a phase in life where i made a resolution that i would socialize more and say more from heart. Have no regrets. And make new friends. I never knew that i would seriously fall for her. On the other hand i’m in a long distance relationship for a while where there were no signs to getting to be together with my gf (say Tanvi). We have not met in a year almost.

I`m 26 now and i felt i had needs. I never wanted to cheat but i had temptations for Priya. I was attracted to her and on the other hand i thought we could be friends because of resolution. We talked and hanged out once in a while, we became good friends. I told Priya i was not a relationship anymore and drifted apart from Tanvi. Which was partially true. Because then i thought maybe Priya was the one and not Tanvi.

But that’s when Karma kicked in. My friendship with Priya became sour. Because now I had became a person who was clingy and desperate for her company. I was never like that. I exposed myself too much to Priya. My feelings were strong and visible. I told her i liked her, because i wanted to take a chance.  I screwed up my budding friendship. She blocked me, shunned me in office. I cried, begged her to talk and remain friends. I became weak and vulnerable. For few months i went through all the stages of separation. After a month i resigned from my job because it became toxic. Finally, she told me we were never really friends and i needed her only physically. Since then i have not talked or even looked at her.  We were in a small office of 5 people and it was impossible to ignore her. I know my mistakes, I accept that, i want to move on.

Let me take you back, last year i was feeling alone, almost depressed, i have 2 friends, everyone busy with their lives. Tanvi was in her city, she was not making any plans for the future. Not her fault, family issues. I never really had stable friends, everyone came and went by. I never made any efforts to make them stay, that’s why the resolution.

After resigning i decided to take charge. Meet my friends more often, resolve things with Tanvi. Try to let go and be happy. But I have few days left of my notice period. And I still have that sinking feeling. Whatever i did , got me what i deserved. I have learned from my mistakes. Is it just human to be this way? Or I’m a manipulative evil person? What Priya said was the truth? I can’t really say at this moment. I’m exhausting myself with these thoughts. Please help!