Ashley,

Wow. Thank you for such courage and honesty, here and in your blog. I’m a survivor too, and know how difficult the healing can be. Anger took a long time to erode for me, still eroding really, when boundaries are trespassed. For me, re-empowerment comes from seeing how sad it is for them, how little they really get to experience of our inner beauty.

Like the father-in-law (for me it was a male relative initially, and a wild yogi later) saw nothing, empty, a sex object, a thing to control or conquer. Our beauty doesn’t grow in that space, the love that he’s restlessly seeking slips further from him, his moment, empty. When, if he had honored you, loved you with respect, it would have been joyful for him. Not sexual, but radiant nonetheless. Too bad, for him, a pity really. No wonder he hides in booze.

But for us, what a wonderful chance to burp up, heal all that indigestion of past bullshit. Like those hallway children, seeing a slut, uncomfortable with themselves and not getting any closer to happiness. As though wads of paper will do anything but wound their own happiness, the falseness, coldness of it turning their own heart to stone. A pity.

And for us (me, at least) sure, some shaky moments, some deep breaths needed from time to time, but their thorns wake us up to our own love, healing gently, expanding, as they truly become history. To see the injustice of their actions, and let it go, we remain deeply peaceful, warm, and awake. And when a new teacher/abuser/snake/whomever springs forward with some hammer or new trespass, ha! “If that’s your best, if that’s all you have, I’m sorry for your loss, for there is far more beauty hidden beyond your view.” Snakes hiss, dogs bark, the thirsty scramble, and here we are, moving on, finding our joy, expanding. Why let their foolishness tear at our wings?

With warmth,
Matt