Carlos J,

This too shall pass. Just remember that and breathe a sigh of relief knowing that nothing is permanent. If people didn’t walk out of your life, voluntarily or otherwise, there wouldn’t be room for new people who could add to the pages in your book. Also think of things as a transformation. Summer becomes fall, fall becomes winter, etc. Change is only natural. Death is only natural. Both aren’t endings but transformations and both are constant and guaranteed. This can cause you some anxiety if you allow it to but it can also bring you great peace, tranquility and relief. If we viewed each moment as temporary, we wouldn’t take them for granted.

Also you may have some abandonment issues, which causes this fear of people leaving. Maybe someone wasn’t there for you or someone who should have been there left. Know that we were born alone and die alone. We are more than capable of being alone and standing on our own once we develop the inner strength. One can be alone and one can be lonely. Alone is wonderful. Lonely isn’t so much. One can be lonely in a crowd, one can be lonely among family, one can be lonely next to a lover. If loneliness is really your issue, then try to figure out why you feel lonely. The most beautiful thing is learning to be alone; learning that you alone are enough and also learning to be with others without needing to have them. Many times when we are with others, we are too busy preoccupied with our own self, our own thoughts, our own worries, needs, etc. Then when we are alone we feel lonely and long for the other. So when we are here, we really want to be there and when we are there, we want to be here. Maybe this fear of being alone has to do with you avoiding yourself. I struggled with this and forced myself to be alone. At first it was hard but I soon realized I enjoy my own company. Meditation is a good way to be comfortable with being alone.

I didn’t mean to be so blunt about death and lonesomeness. We fear these things and it causes a lot of unnecessary suffering. When we accept them as natural and essential then we can find freedom to be; freedom to be with ourselves and with others.

Namaste,

Zenhen

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Zenhen.