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Lies, LIes, LIEs, LIES

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  • #156732
    Victoria
    Participant

    My currently work situation is something completely new for me. Being that it is a Mom&Pop type of shop, there is absolutely no manage for those of us on the lower end of the totem pole (students, there is myself and another currently). Both of us are told different expectations from the owner and the other ‘senior’ worker. Communication is not even something this business has, let alone between myself and the other student (the owner does not even know much of what is going on with the business or employee situations).

    While we are suppose to be working together (myself and the other student) and told that our work hours or duties are to be determined among ourselves, there is a constant stream of lies being told by my coworker. Whether it is lies to be about what one of the higher ups said, or lies about me to the higher ups. It does not stop. No matter how much I try to keep it between us, I am almost forced to call one of our bosses and ask them directed whether or not she is telling the truth. I have caught her in multiple lies, but even me proving her wrong does not stop it.

    To add on top of that, the bosses just keep saying “it’s between you two” and will stay out of it. While I have a definite need to work at this shop until my schooling is over (4 months left), it has been very difficult to deal with two people who do not care or don’t want to be in the middle of it, and a coworker who does not know when to stop lying.

    Any advice?

    #156776
    Marge
    Participant

    Hello Victoria,

    I know that a difficult workplace drain our energy away, but as we all have bills to pay sometimes it isn’t so simple to get rid of this situation.

    It seems to me that your coworker is a compulsive, maybe pathological liar, so I imagine there’s no much you can do about it. It is a problem inside her and she probably knows you know she’s lying.

    At the same time, it’s pretty common to have bosses who won’t stand by you or who won’t get engage in resolving team issues. So it is a dead end and I assume you don’t have a great career path inside this company, especially if it’s a small family business.

    As you don’t need to stick to it for long (4 months) all I can think of is you try to change your mindset. You can’t change people around you, only yourself. Try to see this as an opportunity to improve your resilience and start looking for other jobs (maybe you find something you like sooner than expected).

    I guess not so many people would say that, but my suggestion is don’t work hard. Stick to the essentials, doesn’t embrace a cause or try your best to solve problems and etc. Do just what you’re told to, literally just the essential. You need to hang in there for 4 months and you’re not trying to get promoted (I imagine you have higher dreams) so try to save yourself all psychological energy you can. 

    Meditation helps a lot in those times you feel like you’re going to explode or breakdown. I suggest you to try.

    And when you’re in non-working hours enjoy your life, do what you love and do a conscious effort to not think about work.

    I’m certain you’re capable of going through this and you are going to learn a lot from this experience. Rough times makes us stronger.

    Wish all luck and best!

    Keep me posted.

    Marge

    #156834
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Victoria:

    You wrote: “the bosses just keep saying ‘it’s between you two’ and will stay out of it-

    you disagree with their attitude and policy and this is not the last time you will disagree with an employer’s attitudes and policies, even in a big, organized company or agency.

    What you do, as an employee, here and anywhere you work, for as long as you choose to be an employee, is to follow the employer’s instructions, as long as the instructions are not illegal or clearly unethical. In this case, they clearly instructed you to leave them out of any concerns you have about your co-worker. So do so. Don’t address any concerns with them.

    You can list her lies, or potential lies, on a paper, or a Word document on the computer, listing dates and times of what she said. If the employers approach you in the future about anything she said, then look at your document and respond then.

    anita

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