Your mind and your body are used to certain responses — specifically, those that occurred during your long period of depression. Even though the depression has lifted, other emotions and beliefs that you felt and thought during that decade will linger. Also, I have read that when depression is gone some people feel empty because the depression became a part of them and now it is gone.

You are doing the right thing by making a plan and exploring connections. Don’t forget to plan little (healthy) things that give you pleasure. Not happiness, but pleasure — like reading a good book, having a cup of coffee in front of a roaring fire, taking a hot bath. And try to imagine your soul as being open when you are out in public. Totally open to new experiences and new people. One day you will wake up and realize that you feel GOOD deep down. And although you will fear that the feeling is fleeting, it will continue. This feeling is simply your sense of well-being.

Good luck on your adventures. BTW, I first experienced depression in my late teens, went on meds in my late 20s, and went off meds three times unsuccessfully. About a year ago, due to unemployment and lack of insurance, I weaned myself off of meds at the age of 49. After getting a great job, I started in therapy again and over the summer I thought that I would have to go back on meds. But I worked through some issues and have felt GREAT for three months, med-free. Really, I feel like the person I was as a child and young teen. It feels nothing short of miraculous, but I know that it took hard work on my part to stop overanalyzing and to get rid of bad habits. Take one day at a time, and SMILE. Let me know how you are doing!!

Dear Jahx,

Sometimes we want something so badly that the progress seems incredibly slow. I was there in the battles with the dark moods. You have my hugs. You said, “But it’s like 2 steps forward – 1 step back”. I see this as a call for celebration. You’re making forward progress. One of the secrets of life is being able to find joy in the journey, to embrace the present. Celebrate every lesson learned, every progress made. What it takes is momentum. Every new journey starts with a first step, no matter how small. Once you put in that first step and kept showing up, you will gradually gain ground on it.
“There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path.” ~Buddha

With much love and warmth.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.

I believe that all of us at some point or another will go through the most difficult and most painful things we’ll ever endure. And from what it sounds like, this is what is supposed to teach you about your life and what you need to do with it. Patience and compassion for yourself will help you further your growth as you learn to rebuild yourself after having depression. You’ll come out of it a much better person. Every day there is a lesson to learn and it’s up to you to take it for what it is and use it to your advantage.

I know what it’s like dealing with mental illness and I want to congratulate you on getting healthy again. It’s difficult. But you made it here – count that as a blessing each day. No matter how many steps you take forward and end up getting pushed back, just remember how many steps you have taken. What you overcame is in no way shape or form easy to overcome.

Always be patient with yourself. If you’re feeling a certain emotion, feel that emotion right then and there. Always make time to feel them.

We always have to re-adapt to life because things are always changing. And that’s okay. If you really want to speed up your reconnection, do exactly what your emotions/gut are telling you. Sometimes you might have to cry for a good 45 minutes or sleep a whole day, or maybe you feel like being joyous. Go with the flow of your body and it will take you where you need to go. Don’t think about where it will take you – your mind and your body will be your guide and you will feel whole. Patience with yourself is the best key to emotional freedom. Natural pacing is usually the best route here.

Have a wonderful day and keep going strong, Jahx. You’ve got this!

This is exactly what I’ve experienced after coming out of depression (and an unhealthy relationship) – it’s good, but it’s like I don’t remember how to enjoy myself! I think of it as being like a soldier coming home from war, or a convict released from prison – it’ll take a while to adapt to civilian life. First time I picked and enjoyed a film at home for myself was like a lightbulb going off 😀 Small steps, we’ll get there!

Just my view after similar feelings… Think of it like you are having a drink from a glass/cup.. you find somewhere along that drink that you do not like the way it tastes, so you empty your cup and try something different. You enjoy the different flavor but something is not right. What you failed to do was clean the cup before filling it again. Sounds like you are holding onto something, most likely fear of becoming depressed again.. but keep in mind that knowing the path and walking the path are 2 different things, and no one ever said it was a race!!!

The quick answer is yes, you perceive your ability to adapt slower when you first begin the process of adaption. When depressed the mind moves quickly to one scenario after another and is constantly working to deal with the stress this causes. However, when one chooses to change their mindset and live presently, they see that life moves at a slower pace than the mind does. Meditation is key to staying present and essential to overcoming the desire to slide back into a depressing mindset.

There is no way to speed up your connection to your life. The harder you try to force a connection, the more distant one will become. Oneness with life must be earned in order to be appreciated. If we are given something without working for it, then our ability to express gratitude is limited. There are certain lessons that need to be grasped that take time to understand. Life is a short process, my friend.
“Success is about the journey, not the destination.” Enjoy the process and find happiness in the present moment. In this moment, you’re striving to be better, you’re choosing to overcome depression with happiness and you’re learning how to empower yourself. That is something you should be proud of and something that takes a lot of bravery. Just learn to have a sense of humor with life and realize that you’re exactly where you need to be.

I hope this helps. Good luck on your journey.
thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog, feel free to check it out if you are ever in need.

Delighted to read your journey is going so well 🙂