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anita.
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July 4, 2025 at 2:32 am #447326
AlessaParticipantHi Anita
I don’t think the person meant to hurt you by suggesting that. People often misinterpret others and don’t know the right thing to say. They also don’t have the understanding of the suffering you experienced at her hands. You have every reason to protect yourself from further contact.
It is okay to dream that things were or could be different. It is a shame that it isn’t reality.
Why didn’t she love you? She was flawed in many ways. Not your fault at all. She couldn’t appreciate you, stuck in the prison of her own mind.
The fact that you turned out to be a kind and compassionate person despite the chronic abuse you went through shows what a good and loving person you have always been.
You might not have been appreciated by her, but you are appreciated, loved and valued by a great many people. ❤️
July 4, 2025 at 6:45 am #447328
anitaParticipantDear Alessa:
Thank you so much for your kind message. It really touched me. ❤️
You’re right—some people don’t mean harm, they just don’t understand the depth of what we’ve been through. That suggestion about reconnecting wasn’t cruel, but it did stir something in me. I think I needed to let those feelings out, even if they came out raw.
What you said about her being stuck in the prison of her own mind—that really hit me. It’s painful, but it helps me remember that her inability to love me wasn’t because of who I was. It was about her.
Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to dream, even if the dream can’t come true. And thank you—truly—for saying I’m appreciated. That means more than I can say.
With warmth and gratitude, Anita 🤍
July 4, 2025 at 8:01 am #447331
Engineer101ParticipantDear Anita,
I read your journal and I deeply felt your pain, it is impossible to let go.It is important to journal and let it out. I journal everyday, I have a journal on people I know and have known and how they made me feel. I keep a journal for when someone in my network dies, I write about them , I find it nice when I meet a neighbour and I can say “I though about your father today as its his 7th anniversary, he was a lovely man who loved the garden” . I keep a journal on safety, when I have near miss I write about it and what lessons I take from it. I write about my day and my feelings and emotions, I write about my memories, if I have a thought on the summer of 1977, I will write down everything I remember from the summer of 1977, I keep a journal on my dreams, especially the dreams with people I know in them.
Journaling will transform your life
Gerard 🙂
July 4, 2025 at 8:16 am #447332anitaParticipantDear Gerald:
Thank you for your kind message. I really appreciated what you shared about your journaling—it’s clear how much thought and care you put into it. I especially liked the part about remembering people who’ve passed and being able to say something kind to their loved ones. That’s such a thoughtful way to stay connected.
Like you, I’ve been journaling for a long time. I started writing in notebooks as a teenager—pages and pages of thoughts, feelings, and questions. Later, I moved to typing into Word documents and printing them out. I still have thick folders filled with those pages. And now, I journal here, in this public space on tiny buddha. There’s something meaningful for me about having others read what I write—it helps me feel less alone with it.
Thank you again for sharing your practice with me. It’s clear that your journaling isn’t just a habit—it’s a way of living with presence and care. I admire that.
Warmly, Anita 🤍
July 4, 2025 at 9:56 am #447334anitaParticipantPre Independent-Day-Parade Journaling. Because I can.
Giving emotions this space to Express.
Allowing them to shake off the dust of a lifetime of suppression.
Inviting them to be seen, heard, felt.It’s been mostly a life unlived.
A life so full of disquiet within.
Shame and Guilt.
Depression.And now there is a new youth within my aging body.
Gone is the depression, and the shame and guilt- almost gone.
I am standing tall, with a smile.
Each new day no longer disappears into the day before.I FEEL alive.
Life no longer stolen,
No longer sealed behind lock and key.Anita
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