Living Your Life For Others (but not in a good way)

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    I was just pondering something this morning as I was getting into trying out some gourmet Mexican food recipes. I realized that I wanted to tell my ex-boyfriend about all the wonderful Mexican dishes I was cooking (he and I shared a fondness for Mexico and had lived there briefly). I thought, gee, it’s not that fun to cook if I’m not cooking for him or I can’t tell him about it. And so I sat there and thought…

    Do I have other friends I could cook for or share this with that would make me as excited as it would if I were with my ex? No. Well, a couple, but they live in other states. What about my family? No. What about me? No. And I realized this is pretty much how I live my life – for my romantic partners. I’m trying very hard to do things for me. To appreciate my life for me. I think about other friends who seem able to live their lives for themselves or garner satisfaction with sharing with their friends and family.

    This has been a constant in my life. Anyone else experience these feelings/actions?


    It’s easy to get caught in these trapped ways of thinking . Seriously it does takes some time (after separation) ,and at least for me, I prefer just living life to please myself. I can always entertain or hang out with people if I want but in my day to day life I live for myself . There is no better way to live and none sweeter . It’s like being or at least falling in love with yourself and learning what is it precisely “I” like? We can actually all surprise ourselves as to our likes!
    Try to expand your mind there is an abundant plenitude of ethnic cuisines out there , one you may even prefer better . Be open to new experiences and people. No one person should fulfill all our needs anyway .
    So many married people dream of their single days and their freedom and then single people dream of being hitched up . Why is this ? Tells me there is no right or wrong, just enjoy life as much as possible in the current state you are in because life is truly a gift . Also tells me that we are all in flux , our relationship status can change at any time . It would be fun when we are single to learn about ourselves , immerses ourselves into new endeavors so that when we do find that new love we are an interesting human being and not one dimensional only liking one type of food .


    Basically you have to try hard to like your own company . I’m guessing for some people this is easier than others. Does your dream life consist of walking down the street with your carbon copy boyfriend , dressed identical , thinking identical and then one day in the future sitting in a diner with absolutely nothing to say to each other ? Or do you want to be that foxy lady lol walking down the street with all kinds of interesting things to say about her adventures in far away places who has a mind of her own ? This foxy lady could have a beau or not , that’s not the point . The point is she is her own woman !
    I prefer to be the foxy lady , that is what I strive for . I’ve done the carbon copy relationship thing and it got old quickly for me.
    Maybe I digress but I hope my thoughts help 🙂


    I find myself in a similar predicament Sandy, but added with depression. I’m working on the answer myself. But for now, trying considering, “why am I doing this” for the things you do in your life. You may find that you do a lot of things not because they are truly for you, but because someone told you that you should. Be orininal, have your own opinions, and have your own way of doing things. If it isn’t like other people’s way of doing things, then that’s cool. Concerning the mexican food, learning new things and keeping in practice of something is always a good thing. But as for what to do with the food, either give it to someone, eat it, throw it out, or don’t make it if you really aren’t into it. Try making things that you’ll be able to enjoy yourself, as well as with your friends. Impress yourself, don’t worry about impressing anyone else.

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