Dear Maddie:

You are focused on this woman, very focused on her. Another member, Inky, suggested to you that you are obsessed with her, meaning you keep thinking about her, about what she thinks, what she feels, what she wants, all while she clearly does not want any contact with you.

Obsessed, you are thinking: she is blocking me again..  maybe that means that “she trying to get my attention back?”-

– trying to get your attention by blocking you.. I suppose that is possible, but if that is true, if she is trying to get your attention by blocking you yet again, what do you think she wants you to do next?

anita

Dear Maddie:

You thought that maybe she was trying to get your attention by blocking you, so I asked you what do you think that she wants you to do, once she got your attention by blocking you, and you answered that you “really don’t know”-

-this means to me that your thought that she is trying to get your attention by blocking you is an irrational thought. I think she is scared of having any contact with you and that is why she has been blocking you. I think friendship with her is not possible and better you accept this and give up on your pursuit of her as a friend or anything else.

anita

Dear Maddie:

I guess her “hot and cold” past behavior on her part confused you. But she has been persistent for a long while now, that is, persistently cold, or absent. So better believe her, that she doesn’t want any contact with you.

I understand that this situation has been “too emotionally exhausting” for you and therefore you do need rest and recovery time. You can do something like relax as you listen to calming music and write her a goodbye poem, not so to email it to her somehow or mail it or get it to her, but a poem for yourself, to express how much you valued her in your life and that you feel sad that she is no longer in your life, accepting with sadness that she is not coming back to you.

You can post that poem here, if you want.

anita

Dear Maddie:

We don’t want to accept realities that we don’t like. So we reject those realities but it doesn’t work because reality doesn’t go away because we reject it. We make  our lives more difficult when we reject reality.

anita

Dear Maddie:

It is a good thing that you made a firm decision to move on and that you  intend to focus on your career and that you reached out for help from a childhood friend, I hope that works out well.

This woman who blocked you, she will be back to your workplace after her pregnancy, right? Think about this: she may be keeping a record of the emails you sent her and of her blocking you in all the places where she blocked you. If you try to reach out to her again, let’s say when she is back at work (or before)… maybe she will bring some kind of action against you, in the workplace,  and that will hurt your chances of moving up the corporate level…?

As bad as you feel now about this, it may get worse if you don’t follow your firm decision to move on and not contact her in any way, shape or form, ever again.

anita