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Losing best friend who is pregnant

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This topic contains 80 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Maddie 3 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 81 total)
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  • #302151

    anita
    Participant

    Thank you, Maddie. Have a good weekend yourself and keep being straightforward- as long as you enrich your straightforwardness with some empathy and respect, straightforward is a wonderful thing.

    anita

    #302341

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

    About 2 weeks ago, i had created new acc both fb and instagram. On both i didnt reach out to her but before that when she had blocked me, i had sent her a DM stating im creating new acc to move on. And not to reach out to you and then i had blocked her. Yesterday night (sorry it was morning in India when i posted this) i just unblocked her to see what happens. After few hours i found out she blocked me there too. And then today morning she blocked my FB too..Till last night my fb wasnt blocked. I was awake till 3 am (im a late sleeper cause i Do night shift)

    Today morning im blocked on fb too.

    So now why is she going on blocking me when i have completely cutoff from her?

    #302343

    Maddie
    Participant

    Also her husband’s account is not blocked on none of my accounts. My original acs were blocked on his acc too..

    So im not sure is she trying to get my attention back? Or she doesnt want me to move on? Or her husband is doing all this? Or is she doing to just mess with my head?

    Her blocking me till date shows that she is still affected by me or else why will she keep blocking me? Its been 4 weeks since my last contact with her.

     

     

    #302371

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    You are focused on this woman, very focused on her. Another member, Inky, suggested to you that you are obsessed with her, meaning you keep thinking about her, about what she thinks, what she feels, what she wants, all while she clearly does not want any contact with you.

    Obsessed, you are thinking: she is blocking me again..  maybe that means that “she trying to get my attention back?”-

    – trying to get your attention by blocking you.. I suppose that is possible, but if that is true, if she is trying to get your attention by blocking you yet again, what do you think she wants you to do next?

    anita

     

    #302375

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

     

    May be you are correct. May be im focusing too much on her. Im just trying to understand why will she behave like this again and again.

    Maybe im have not been able to move on yet and thats why i keep circling back to her. I know i should just forget it and move on, but honestly i am trying my best to move on but these kinda things keep taking me back.

    I really dont know what she wants me to do so im gonna keep ignoring her and let her do whatever she wants.

    #302381

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    You thought that maybe she was trying to get your attention by blocking you, so I asked you what do you think that she wants you to do, once she got your attention by blocking you, and you answered that you “really don’t know”-

    -this means to me that your thought that she is trying to get your attention by blocking you is an irrational thought. I think she is scared of having any contact with you and that is why she has been blocking you. I think friendship with her is not possible and better you accept this and give up on your pursuit of her as a friend or anything else.

    anita

    #302393

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

    Yup..i guess somewhere im still holding on to the thought that maybe “Just friendship” is possible with her. And to be honest she did used to do this hot and cold thing. Like when im not paying attention she will do something to get it. I guess you are right. She is scared of going down that path again with me.

    Anyways this whole situation has been too emotionally exhausting for me. I just want a break from all this

    #302397

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    I guess her “hot and cold” past behavior on her part confused you. But she has been persistent for a long while now, that is, persistently cold, or absent. So better believe her, that she doesn’t want any contact with you.

    I understand that this situation has been “too emotionally exhausting” for you and therefore you do need rest and recovery time. You can do something like relax as you listen to calming music and write her a goodbye poem, not so to email it to her somehow or mail it or get it to her, but a poem for yourself, to express how much you valued her in your life and that you feel sad that she is no longer in your life, accepting with sadness that she is not coming back to you.

    You can post that poem here, if you want.

    anita

    #302421

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

    I can. I guess “Acceptance is a hard part for me. Normally im a hard shell to crack and im usually strong but this time it really hurt me. So i guess before healing i will work on accepting as i believe i cant heal until i Accept 🙂

    #302427

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    We don’t want to accept realities that we don’t like. So we reject those realities but it doesn’t work because reality doesn’t go away because we reject it. We make  our lives more difficult when we reject reality.

    anita

    #302447

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

    Yup..im realising now that i myself made it more difficult for me by not realising or seeing what was right in front of me..

    But yeah i have made a firm decision to move on and let it all go. I know it wont be easy and will require lot of work on my part.

    As of now im gonna completely focus on my work. I have my meeting with my VP tomorrow so im gonna talk to him about next level for me in corporate ladder and to take on more responsibilites.

    Im also gonna take help of my friend. Called up my childhood friend today and told her n she agreed to help me move on.

    But somewhere deep inside my heart i will always wish, things were bit different.

    #302449

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    It is a good thing that you made a firm decision to move on and that you  intend to focus on your career and that you reached out for help from a childhood friend, I hope that works out well.

    This woman who blocked you, she will be back to your workplace after her pregnancy, right? Think about this: she may be keeping a record of the emails you sent her and of her blocking you in all the places where she blocked you. If you try to reach out to her again, let’s say when she is back at work (or before)… maybe she will bring some kind of action against you, in the workplace,  and that will hurt your chances of moving up the corporate level…?

    As bad as you feel now about this, it may get worse if you don’t follow your firm decision to move on and not contact her in any way, shape or form, ever again.

    anita

    #302475

    Maddie
    Participant

    Dear Anita :

    Well i know she wont drag it to work place cause then it will be out in open that she was romantically involved with me and she is very conscious about her image.

    but yeah you do have a point. And i havent reached out to her in long time. But yes i will be very careful about this. 🙂

    #302483

    Maddie
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Dear Anita :</p>
    So today i meet with my VP. Wish me luck that i keep all this drama behind and move up the ladder 🙂

    #302525

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maddie:

    I wish you luck and that you will move up the ladder! Let me know how it goes, will you?

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 81 total)

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