I feel as though I am losing one of my best friends. My best friend is this guy I met back in September. We originally became friends because we were immediately attracted to each other. But after I explained to him I have a boyfriend (who doesn’t treat me the best), we stayed very close friends. I tell him everything from my problems to my interests. He tells me about himself too, but when we hang out its almost as if he ONLY wants to talk about me. He asks me, “what’s wrong?” or “tell me about yourself?” or “you don’t seem happy what’s is going on?”

Our friendship is weird because I feel as though he kinda likes me. I feel like that is why he is constantly asking about me. He always wants to learn more about me and who I am/what I feel. But the thing is… I have a boyfriend. I ask him the same things back but I try not to cross the line. I do not want to emotionally cheat on my boyfriend. When I first met him, I did really like him but I realized I wasn’t attracted to him physically. It was more of an emotional attraction. I also didn’t want to lose what the relationship that my boyfriend and I have had for 3 years. So those immediate feelings of infatuation went away and I realized he is more of a good friend to me.

Last week my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. My boyfriend ended up throwing my phone across the room and shattering it. After that, I broke up with him. My boyfriend and I break up a lot so this wasn’t unusual for me. I felt it was necessary to break up with him for the time being because I am trying and trying so hard to tell myself I deserve better. But when this guy and I were doing homework together, he asked about my phone. We have a really honest friendship so I didn’t want to lie and have him find out I lied later. So I honestly told him the truth.. that my boyfriend threw my phone across the room. I also told him that my boyfriend and I broke up. But I warned him that we are probably getting back together.

But even after warning him, my friend seemed pretty mad at me for getting back with him. He said he was because I was acting so hypocritical and was constantly putting myself in a situation where I am unhappy.

I am just a little bit confused about this situation. I feel like this guy has feelings for me secretly. But I am not 100% sure. He may not. He knows I have a boyfriend… and I feel like if he did like me, he would have just moved on after finding out I am not available. But I now feel like he is starting to view me in a negative light. I feel like he is going to start thinking I am a bad person for staying with someone like my boyfriend. I feel like he is starting to think I am a hypocrite and no longer want to be friends with me. I’ve lost a lot of my friends after staying with my boyfriend. So many of my friends became sick and tired of me complaining about the abuse and control but not leaving the situation. But the truth is I simply can’t leave. I don’t even know why.

I feel like this is going to happen with this guy. I am already seeing signs that he views he differently. But the problem is.. I am growing so attached to him. I even wrote a post a little bit ago about how I may be falling in love with him. I honestly don’t know how I feel about him. The whole situation is hard for me to process. I don’t know my feelings exactly. But I have never had a friend as good as him. He treats me better than any friend ever has. He actually seems to care about me and I feel like most people in my life don’t. He genuinely cares about my happiness and I can honestly say… not ONE person in my life (besides him) genuinely asks if I am okay or if I am happy. They don’t care. But he does so I am afraid of losing him as a friend.

• This topic was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Katie.