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Loss of a pet

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #377168
    srk
    Participant

    Hi,

    A little while ago a kitten happened to visit our home. We took him in to our abode and he was living with us ever since. Two days back, in the morning, the kitten was attacked by a few dogs right in front of our house. I chased the dogs away and carried him in my arms inside our home. Though there were no considerable injuries, he was shell shocked and traumatised by the whole event. I tried comforting him, but within few minutes he passed away, right in front of my eyes. I never expected this to happen. I was convinced I had saved him just in time.

    I am feeling extremely sad and numb for the past few days. I am unable to eat or sleep. I am feeling guilty about the whole episode. I feel as if I didn’t do enough. The whole scene keeps replaying in my mind. I can still hear and recall his last cries. Above all, I miss him. I miss his presence in our home. He was so little and so cute.

    How do I cope with this? How do I move on?

    Thanks

    srk

    #377189
    anita
    Participant

    Dear srk:

    I am sorry that you lost your kitten. Some of your anguish since is about trying to save him, chasing away the dogs, carrying him back to the house, checking to see if he was significantly injured, seeing no such injuries, thinking you saved him… only to watch him pass away:

    Your efforts to save him failed and it makes you feel powerless, your best efforts having failed, doesn’t it?

    When we feel powerless we also  feel anxious. There is fear when we are unable to change or prevent bad situations. Do you relate to what I suggested here?

    anita

    #377221
    srk
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, I can completely relate to what you have suggested.

    When those scenes keep replaying in my mind, I ask “what if?” or “if only”. There was about 10 minutes of time between me carrying him indoors and him passing away. Why didn’t I take a different action in that ensuing time? I ask myself why didn’t I foresee it?

    Also, I am angry at fate or the Universe or any higher power there is, for having cut short his young and innocent life in such a cruel manner.

    srk

    #377230
    anita
    Participant

    Dear srk:

    Regarding what killed your kitten: I read that people who died following a very scary experience, died not from fear itself, but from the fear affecting a pre-existing heart condition. It makes sense because almost all people who suffer terrible panic attacks do not die. I am wondering if your kitten had a weak heart.

    cat health. com reads: “Feline cardiac or heart disease is the silent killer of cats. One in six cats can be born with or develop heart disease in its lifetime. Heart disease can be broadly defined as any abnormality of the heart, and therefore includes a wide range of conditions… Heart disease can be.. congenital (present at birth or near birth) or acquired (develop over time and with age).”

    Under “Lifestyle Changes” on the same website, it says: “Environmental stress may activate the nervous system, placing excess stress on the already overstressed left ventricle, and possibly leading to heart failure”- the left ventricle is part of the heart, and the dogs barking at your kitten constituted a severe environmental stress for your cat.

    Regarding your guilt feelings about your kitten’s passing, you may find something helpful in the website healing pet loss. com. Even though you did not cause your pet’s death, parts of the following website may be helpful to you:  hoping for. com/ dealing with guilt when you caused your pet’s death.

    Will you look into these websites, take your time and let me know what you got out of it?

    anita

    #377231
    srk
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thanks for sharing these links. I will read those articles and get back to you!

    Thanks

    srk

    #377232
    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, srk. I will read from you when you get back to me.

    anita

    #377264
    srk
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I read most of the comments on that article on hoping for.com. The comments are truly heart wrenching.

    Few of the things I concluded after reading those comments are that every pet owner is trying to give his/her best to their pet. Everybody on there loved their pets unconditionally. But sometimes things just didn’t work out. Sometimes our best is not enough.

    Our pets always deserve better. I just hope every pet that has ever crossed over, has found bliss in another world.

    srk

    #377277
    anita
    Participant

    Dear srk:

    There is a special, simple love/ relationship between a man and his pet, one that is free from the complications, disruptions and dishonesty that to often exist in human love/ relationships. It is an honest, innocent kind of love.

    Anytime you want to post about your cat, or about anything, please do.

    anita

    #377280
    srk
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I agree with you. Maybe that’s the reason I have more affinity towards animals than with other human beings.

    There are times, when I am overwhelmed by his memories. The memories come in waves. The place where he used to sleep, his antics, his cries for food, etc. I become dysfunctional during those times and tear up, hoping he comes back. I am too scared to let go of his memories, because somewhere I feel it would be disloyal to him.

    I guess there’s no specific timeframes to recover from these sort of episodes.

    srk

    #377282
    anita
    Participant

    Dear srk:

    Those waves of memories and emotion, when you become dysfunctional and tear up, try to not be afraid of those waves: you survived them and you will continue to survive them. You are okay and you will be okay.

    About being disloyal to your kitten if you let go of his memories- if what you mean by it is that every once in a while you forget about him, and then you remember and you feel disloyal because you forgot- I suggest that you decide to think about him every day at a specific time and place, let’s say at 4 pm at home/ elsewhere, and decide that it is okay if you don’t think about him at other times. Does this make sense?

    anita

    #377299
    srk
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Okay. I will give it a try.

    srk

    #377300
    anita
    Participant

    Dear srk:

    Let me know how it works. Again, I am sorry that you lost your kitten. You loved him and you still do, even though you don’t think about him all the time (no one thinks about any other person or pet all the time, it is not possible and it is not useful).

    anita

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