Lost

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This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by BenzRabbit.

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June 13, 2014 at 8:33 am #58784

Jaime
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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road of your life? When you can’t trust your instincts because they feel rooted in fear? When things feel completely out of your control and you don’t know what to do next? I am at a crossroads in my life and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to move home and take a break but I know I’d never forgive myself if I gave up.. Has anyone ever gone through something like this? A time where you lost all confidence and groundedness? I don’t even know where I am going to live in 2 weeks. I’ve never felt so lost and out of control…

June 13, 2014 at 2:15 pm #58790

Mike
Participant

I think sometimes the rational approach is to make a list of pro’s and con’s of each choice, but sometimes that isn’t enough. I think everybody has to go some sort fork in the road in their life. I know I have been there before, it seems like to me it was out side influences that were causing me distress. Judgement from others, feeling a sense of shame or failure, fear of making a wrong decision and not being able to take it back… It’s really tough. I wanted to run away, I at least wanted to get a way to a place far removed from the situation for a little bit and contemplate in some serene environment. I thought I needed to get to know myself more before answering. Low and behold I did nothing and just let the decisions be made for me and I don’t think it was right. In hindsight everything is a perfect 20/20, but at the time it is nearly indistinguishable. Some times you have to have the courage to do or try something bold and new and not be afraid of making a mistake. I guess for me the fear of making a decision can be a perfectionist attitude in that I don’t want to reveal flaws in my character to myself or others! Really though everyone makes mistakes and you aren’t flawed just by making the mistake, I would think you are flawed for not making mistakes because it is the only way to learn. If you are old enough to make mistakes, then you are old enough to handle the judgments and ridicule others will shoot your way.

June 13, 2014 at 4:25 pm #58797
Big blue
Participant
Hi Jaime,

Ok let’s be practical. Reading your story, you have one viable option, to move back, then make progress, and finally set out on your own again. If you can establish a time range for moving out (example: 9-12 months) from aggressive to conservative, that will give you a realistic goal. Because you do not have an alternative place to live, and you are rightly concerned about avoiding failure, this is your only move. This assumes you already investigated other solutions, such as rooming with someone else.

Although to you moving back feels like sucking a lemon, you can make lemonade by having a positive attitude about your opportunity to be with family and start over, or just get a breather and continue moving ahead.

Put a couple plans together and seek advice from some trusted friends. This will help you. You might build your confidence up. You will learn a lot as Mike points out. Pick one of the plans and try it.

Big blue
- This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Big blue.
June 14, 2014 at 1:49 pm #58829

BenzRabbit
Participant

Hi Jaime,

Almost everyone comes to a fork in the road at some point in life – some earlier and some later!

We feel lost and confused and that is a natural feeling. It is the Universe asking us to decide which road we want to take going forward.

I recommend taking a long walk outdoors and asking yourself what would make you happy going forward. I pray you find your answer soon.

Please listen to this one song called ‘Lost’ – here is the youtube link:

God bless !
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