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Lost and alone

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  • October 5, 2014 at 12:30 am #65995
    Dylan
    Participant

    My long term relationship with my high-school girlfriend ended several weeks ago. We had been together for 10 years and it was the only relationship that I had ever known. As soon as I was out of high school I had moved in with her. My entire adult life has been built on this now dead relationship. I feel so lost right now and I don’t know what to do with myself. I have no friends that live near me and I just lost such a large portion of myself.

    Neither one of us is in a good position so I moved downstairs, and I’m trying to make room in my life. We both still want to be friends, we were before and have always been best friends throughout the relationship. And it was a long time comming for the breakup it really was not a huge surprise.

    The second part of this is that my ex is already dating a new person. It is an online relationship and they won’t see each other for several more months, but this just completely crushed me. While I feel that I may have been able to handle the breakup alone since it had been going that we for awhile. But with her dating already and acting so serious. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel ready to move on and I don’t think I should. But I feel so lonely and so jealous I am worried I will do something I will regret later.

    Just being able to write this all out and share it with someone who is impartial makes me feel a little better. I know that I need to move on with my life. I just don’t know how.

    October 5, 2014 at 2:31 am #66000
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    @taiki3 Hi Dylan Cron

    I am so sorry for your pain. Please know you are not alone in this difficult time.

    Ending a long-term relationship is not easy for anyone. However, you should look at the positives that have come out of this relationship rather than focus on the negatives. Negativity breeds more negativity but an ability to see blessings even in difficult times can prove very fruitful and meaningful for everyone concerned.

    You are feeling hurt, betrayed and lonely – this is so natural and a much needed experience to grow you into a better version of Dylan -someone who will be compassionate and much more kind in the future. So tend to your needs FIRST AND FOREMOST. Let go of your pain – cry if you need to; ring family if need be; ring some friends if you need to; talk to the trees or birds in the nature if you have no one who can listen.

    Let the pain / tears flow and once you are over the acute pain in a few days, give yourself a big pat and hug.

    Then think of ways that you can move forward such as moving out, doing other activities where you can meet new people and make new friends etc.

    Hang in there mate. You are much bigger than this experience and you will be just fine if you let it be. Storms come and go. Nothing stays permanent. This sad experience wont stay there forever either. Learn the lessons and keep marching ahead with your head held high up.

    SMILE PLEASE 🙂

    Jasmine

    October 6, 2014 at 7:58 pm #66058
    Belle
    Participant

    Hi Dylan!

    first of all, you are in good hands if you take Jasmines advice (the comment above mine) as she has been a blessing whilst ive experienced something much the same as you!

    I too lost my best friend and partner, who moved on very quickly and is now with someone else. This is such a hard time for you and I know EXACTLY what you are feeling, as I too wake up feeling the same each day. I am not exactly equipt to give you the life saving advice that other may be able to provide you. But I am here for a chat if you ever need one. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is going through something similar, helps you realise you are most definitely not alone!

    keep your head up, its a gruelling process but it DOES get better. Here if you need anything!

    love and light,
    Christie

    October 7, 2014 at 7:38 am #66078
    Dylan
    Participant

    Thanks alot to both of you. It is honestly nice to be able to just talk to impartial people and get it all out. I’ve been doin good I feel. Going out with friends and having fun. I just keep telling myself that we were not right for each other. I understand that it takes time to get over someone. Especially because we were together for so long. But I know that I won’t be able to fully be happy and meet new people until I have completely moved on. I will keep working on it. Things will get better! And I will be able to have the things that I lost again with someone who is better for me.

    October 7, 2014 at 9:22 am #66083
    Jodi
    Participant

    Break ups can be so very difficult and Jasmine’s words are spot on. In addition, I would also recommend that you focus on getting yourself into a new place to live. Look into renting a room if you can’t afford your own place, but do take steps to move out of your current place with your ex. In these instances, taking some time to give yourself space and time to heal are very important for your well being.

    ~Jodi

    October 7, 2014 at 10:45 pm #66097
    Vince
    Participant

    Hey Bud

    I too am going through a break up. It sucks. Nothing I can tell you will help speed up the process. I know, because nothing I have been told or read helps. Just know, like everything in life, it will pass. That’s something I am holding on to.

    Also, re: the internet boyfriend. Yeah he is so a re-bound. An ‘internet relationship’ is not a relationship. I wouldn’t sweat it. Just remember while you are out with your mates having fun meeting people, she is in front of a computer screen talking to someone she hasn’t met yet. What does that sound like to you?

    Hang in there bud.

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