November 9, 2015 at 10:26 am #87073AnonymousParticipant
Just wanted to share about this time in my life, and was wondering if this is common.
I’m 25 years old, and am finding a lot of joy in life and am overall a happy person. I do get frustrated with my job and living situation at times, but most of the time emotionally I feel fine!
It’s just over the past few years, I’ve noticed I’ve lost a lot of interest in things I once loved doing, like making art. I’ve also lost motivation in caring about my future and my career. I thought I wanted to do this or be that, but everytime I achieve something, it’s never what i imagined it to be, so I’ve stopped really fantasizing or romanticizing about a specific career and future. I hate it when people ask what my future plans are or what I want to do once I graduate from college (next year) because I just dont really know or care! I just want to be happy and healthy.
I’m not depressed or sad either, so I know its not that.
I’ve been happily (overall) in a relationship for two years.
I just feel like i’m almost too comfortable with my life right now, and am not sure what I need in order to feel like i’m thriving again. Sometimes I think about quiting my job, because maybe thats what is making me feel bored and stuck as i’ve been with this company for 4 years, but I’m not sure what other field I’d work in, and my job is actually really great besides the low pay. I was initially starting out to be an artist/illustrator, and that was going well actually, but I just kind of lost interest in making stuff and the lifestyle it brought me (working inside most of the time, not paying well, working on strict deadlines), so I think I just have given up on that idea.
Now I find a lot of joy in just being with my friends, family and boyfriend, making good food, staying healthy and being outside. It seems very simple and boring, and I feel like people at my age should be more wild and spontaneous (as I used to feel… I feel I used to be more idealistic and spontaneous and careless)
I think about moving back home to be closer to my family and the beach, but I know my significant other needs to stay here, as he is taking care of his elderly parents. And I dont hate it up here…I just sometimes miss the beach and my family.
Anyways, if anyone could offer any ideas or advice, that would be greatly appreciated. Has anyone else felt this way at times? Is this just what life is?November 9, 2015 at 1:17 pm #87091AnonymousGuest
As to your question if this is common..
that “I’m 25 years old, and am finding a lot of joy in life and am overall a happy person.”- in my experience it is not common.
As to “everytime I achieve something, it’s never what i imagined it to be”- this is very, very common at any age.
“so I’ve stopped really fantasizing or romanticizing about a specific career and future.”- now this is very uncommon. People commonly get disappointed when they achieve something they THOUGHT would make them happy, but then they do not learn the lesson and keep aspiring for the NEXT thing they hope will make them happy…. anything from the next cupcake, the next new dress, the next new car, the next academic degree, the next job, the next husband and the list goes on and on and on… then they aspire to retire and dream about how happy they will be retired, and well… get so depressed once retired… nothing got them “there.”
You wrote: “I just want to be happy and healthy.” Many people get to a life threatening situation to realize that this is all they want and then, if they don’t forget the lesson they just learn and keep chasing the next thing to achieve…they get to where you are at now.
You wrote: “I hate it when people ask what my future plans are or what I want to do once I graduate from college “- the people who are asking are the people who are chasing the next things that will make them happy… They don’t know better. You do.
You wrote: “Now I find a lot of joy in just being with my friends, family and boyfriend, making good food, staying healthy and being outside. It seems very simple and boring…” Not to me.
“I feel I used to be more idealistic and spontaneous and careless.. and you matured and changed you are on the right path. I will not go with the “should” if I was you: keep your exceptional well being and reject the common misery.
Oh, as to your question if anyone felt his way- yes, I am starting to feel this way.. finally, took a lot of healing and growth to get to where you are at now. Celebrate it; do not exchange it for the marketed ideas/ non-working social conventions of how to become happy… sometime in the future, someday….-
You have the answers. You got it. Others don’t.
anitaNovember 9, 2015 at 2:15 pm #87094SaiishaParticipant
To me – you seem like you’re living a very contented life! Not a lot of people can say that, no matter what their age! There’s no “shoulds” about anything – your life is yours – how you live it is how you live it – it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says you “should” doing.
And when you feel like a change wants to happen from the inside, then you’ll change… if not, there’s nothing wrong in being content 🙂 Savor it!November 10, 2015 at 10:11 am #87159LayceeParticipant
I have to agree with the posts made by anita and Saiisha, they both made great points.
What I want to add is, it sounds like something might be bothering you to a certain extent. It is great that you are in a good place, no complaints on your end, but if something wasn’t bothering you, you probably wouldn’t be here. Do you feel personally fulfilled? That is important too.
Why do/did you enjoy art? Would you like to be anywhere else in the future, or are you unsure? Did anything significant happen recently? There is no reason for a change if you’re happy and responsibilities are being taken care of.
You mentioned possibly wanting to move by your parents and the beach, is this because you miss them, the setting, or specific emotions/behaviors associated with these places? If there truly is something upsetting you, you need to confront it.
That being said, if your life really is perfect in the way that you want and believe it is, then everything is as it should be.
Also, you could just be experiencing slight discomfort because of your job, or another influence. Make sure you continue staying healthy because we have a duty to ourselves to always be able to give 100% when it is needed.November 16, 2015 at 4:12 am #87628NekoshemaParticipant
Quarter life crisis lol. When I was nearing 25 i started journaling and reflecting [and reading TinyBuddha actually] because I felt I should know something or have done something. You seem very happy, but since you don’t ‘have it all’ [aka the vision of perfection] you might be wondering if something’s wrong and this might destroy your happiness.
You’re an artist/illustrator? That’s probably why you are having trouble getting into your own work. I use to do a lot of art growing up, but I lost my inspiration so I stopped. [Slowly getting back into it] I noticed what killed my inspiration [despite how much I loved it] was making fan art of someone else’s characters. Perhaps being told what to draw for your job is draining your creativity. Perhaps you simply need a new medium? However, you seem content socializing and whatnot so perhaps that’s your hobby.
Regarding the beach, I grew up by the ocean so I know the feeling, but you could always take a few weeks off and visit. But if that’s the one thing that you feel is missing in your life, try journaling or making a list of pros and cons and figure out if moving back to the sea is the thing that will bring you untold joy. Good luck to you.