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Lost, Sad, and Hopeless

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  • #109641
    Julia
    Participant

    Hi everyone. I’ve been reading Tiny Buddha for years and have previously used the forums for support. I found it really helpful, so a few years later, here I am.

    Basically, I have lost complete faith in learning how to eat normally, exercise consistently, and be happy with my body. I never had problems with weight or body image (more “face image”–I had always felt ugly) until my freshman year of college. I was depressed, anxious, suicidal, self harming and had just gone through my first break up. Food that I had never had access to before was now constantly available. I was living in a city and walked a lot, so I gained weight, but it came off every few months.

    Now, 8 years later, I have gone up and down the same 15-25 lbs (usually being almost overweight according to the BMI). I have tried being more active since June, keeping a chart of my exercise, counting calories, not counting calories and trying intuitive eating, starving myself, going paleo, seeing a therapist (I have been for 8 years)…NOTHING seems to help me lose weight lately, nothing feel sustainable and healthy and doable.

    I really don’t know where else to turn…thank you.

    #109645
    keine
    Participant

    Hello Wishing…

    I have a couple of questions:

    1) Did you ever have counseling and/or treatment for the depression, and to help deal with the devastating break-up?

    2) Define “normal” eating patterns. Everyone has different needs and preferences. What works for one person may not work for you.

    3) What does “almost overweight” mean?

    4) How is your overall health?

    The best way to determine your own healthy weight is to talk to your doctor about your general health, and take note of how you’re feeling physically, and the state of your cholesterol readings and blood pressure.

    Just as important is addressing the psychological component. Have you ever talked to a doctor, therapist or counselor about the possibility of an eating disorder? Even if you don’t fit the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to work on your body image with a professional.

    No one can give you a magic formula to suddenly love your body. That takes time and work. Asking for help and support is the first step. 🙂

    #109654
    anita
    Participant

    Dear wishingforbetter08:

    You wrote that you have been seeing a therapist for 8 years? Any insight gained there? Any skills learned (to regulate emotions, to pay attention, mindfulness, that is)? What has the therapy been about all these years?

    Before your freshman year in college you were concerned with your face, thinking it was ugly. Your anxiety eight years ago turned to your body, down from your face to your body and weight has been a concern.

    What was your anxiety about before college, when you were a child?

    anita

    #114866

    ^ hi beautiful you arent alone congrats on all the trying, guess what its not a fail you tried all different things and good niw you know they dont work for you so we and you, can better figure out what you need . I think you need to talk to someone a therapist counsellor or someone else, focus on hobbies people things you enjoy and makes you happy, you may bot have control over your weight but its ok its all about eating healthier and not pressuring yourself. Take it each day, the key is not pressuring yourself bout food, you eat to live, feed your bodu with lots water grains fruits veggies healthy stuff exercise to songs you like and doing a exercise that gives you joy, change doesnt happennasap, the beauty of it is yourr growing and progress youll get to see it gradually, keep going trying you never stip learning, your weight does not even define you to the most beauty you are, you cant be compared to you are too amazing your weight doesnt define you, your goodness helpingnothers and heart quirks onterests hobbies define you, weight wont stop u from living your lifr, dont let ot, keep going and keep wriitng dreams goals and talking to peoplenwho can help, you can still enjoy the daily miracles or life, love you youre never alone Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡

    #121560
    rosy
    Participant

    Don’t be sad everything is goona be alright.

    #135867
    Kaay
    Participant

    Hi Julia,

    Don’t feel sad and depressed.

    Try to follow a vegetarian diet and do regular yoga which means Union. The Union of the body,mind and soul.

    You will surely benefit.

    #135871
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Hey Julia,

    You better get your hormone levels checked. All these yo-yo eating practises and weight loss on and off may have affected them. Get checked for PCOS and thyroid function. Consider getting your body fat percentage checked. BMI is a very limited way to check things.

    Sometimes all these these on and off practises marked by inactivity raise this body fat percentage with minimal change in scale and we look bigger, feel sluggish and not lose weight like before. Consider trying out a combination of brisk walking coupled with sessions of resistant training followed by a high protein, fibre rich diet with healthy fats thrown in too. Crash dieting and starving will slow down your metabolism.

    Please talk to your therapist more about these issues. Your focus needs to be more on getting healthy, have more energy and something underlying is clearly bothering you. Controlling your body and weight won’t solve that feeling.

    Regards
    Nina

    #144973
    Merriegold
    Participant

    Don’t feel sad  and stop worrying. Try another diet and work. Do some Zumba or Triathlon. That might help.

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