There have been many instances during this time, when there were situations in our lives – my mother was sick, her grand mother was sick, my birthday, forgetting her part of the things to do, for the responsibility she had taken, because she has been more than occupied with work and colleagues where she chose office and even spending personal time with colleagues.

She chose to go for dinners and late night evenings with colleagues, where she already knew that due to office working hours she has been spending less time at home with friends and family. More than that her boss very clearly is a negative influence who seems to be manipulating her towards other colleagues which she refuses to accept. Another reason that I feel is taking her away from her relations. Her boss is giving her too much personal and professional information and burdening her with unnecessary and unprofessional obligations, which if I point makes her aggressive and defensive. She pulls her self away from me, if I pin point where she is going wrong.

Even I want her to do well in this job, but not at the cost of her health, relationships and life. Leading a life where there is no time for yourself and your loved ones is of no purpose. I can see that this job is pulling her away from her family, friends, and her health. The time and responsibility she is required to put in, refrains her from making calls the entire day to family and friends. She was made to go on a full day training on her Birthday. She knew her family and friends were waiting but she came in late because of work and even couldn’t take calls as she was in training.

Getting calls for office politics at midnight and late night dinners and drinks on weekdays are office culture, but only among the boss and 2-3 colleagues who the boss wants to play his side. She even takes smallest of suggestion and advise at work for her does and don’ts from this boss who I can very clearly see is manipulating and misguiding her sometimes – Not Always. When I point out, I am almost informed that I am not aware of the exact situation she is facing at work. She has lost her simplicity and infact now enjoys habits (which I am saying is wrong), but we both never approved and agreed for… for US.

And I am unable to relate with this person that she is becoming, avoiding her family and friends for a job and colleagues that she is prioritizing her life and decisions and spending most of the time with.

Our common friends are of the opinion, that I shouldn’t leave her side and still have her back. But her continues wrong decisions are effecting me, my health and my self respect as she is fully aware of the fact that I dont agree with her kind of life that she is living. With no balance in personal and professional life and no responsibility towards family and friends.

But, I guess you are right. I need to take a back step. I am unable to explain the situation she is into but should I let her suffer? Should I not tell her the way I can see her office is misusing her  time and efficiency. Or wait for her to learn her own way and then blame me that I let her fall for this!