Home→Forums→Relationships→Loving yourself and letting go
- This topic has 11 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 8 months ago by
sunseeker26.
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March 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm #52187
sunseeker26ParticipantOk so my first post here. Was encouraged by other posts to share my own story and to hopefully get some advise and courage to continue my journey. So I met my only bf at 13 years of age, he was a different race and religion to me so didn’t go down well with my family. I moved in with him at 18, continued to fall head over heals, mind boy and soul in love with him. I thought I had found my soulmate. A lot happened in our relationship. But long story short we had just bought. House with his parents (meant to be our future family home) and 2 weeks after the house went through he broke up with me saying he does not think he can make me happy. Later found out it was another woman. As you can imagine my WHOLE world and heart shattered into a million pieces. Anyway 7 months on with Yoga and great new yogi minded friends behind me I am doing much better. I have good days and bad days, bad days are reducing but I still think of him on average maybe 30 times a day (much much less than before) trust me!! But struggling to let go completely. I have accepted that it’s ended and I know deep down we would not have worked but I guess my ego is hurt by my ex replacing me so easily. Not sure if guys have a different way of dealing with things but ultimately do not wish him any harm or unhappiness. I just want to move on with my life and let go. Would be good to hear if anyone has any further advice or tips to cure heartbreak 😉 love and peace Aysha xx
March 3, 2014 at 2:32 pm #52188sunseeker26ParticipantOh and also realised that I cannot love anyone healthily until I love myself fully. Which is still work in progress 😉
March 3, 2014 at 10:51 pm #52224
daydreamer91Participanthey Ayesha (are u from India?,)hey Celina..
i have too broken up..but my story is pretty different. Can u guys plzz advice me on how to stay strong in movements of weakness when all u want to do is to text or talk to the other person.what drives ur determination then n how to fight this sadness n depression n most importantly the loneliness that engulfs u! any suggestion is more than welcome!
m copy pasting my story,will give u better context.last year i helped one of my friends after her breakup.
we became best friends. always talking, always chatting. her personal life was mine n mine was hers. it went on for around 7-8 months. slowly slowly my fondness for her grew.
i neglected my friends n family for her. but in last two months she has reconnected with two of her old friends. now she is only interested in them. we hardly talks like once in a month,earlier it was used to be every night for 2-3 hours.
now i m attracted to her n she is out of her breakup. lives happily, have a new life, new friends, new job n hardly talks to me …best part is she came to me for help.
now i m heart broken n she is enjoying her ‘new life’.
but i can’t stop thinking about her..always stocking her on fb n whatsapp. m sort of addicted to her. plzz some1 help me!!March 3, 2014 at 11:15 pm #52227sunseeker26ParticipantHi Celina. Thank you! Yesterday was a tricky day and your words have helped me immensely deeply grateful to you. I guess it’s much easier to advice than take your own. I guess this age old saying of time heals all is actually true. Thank you for sharing your light. Much love xx Aysha
March 4, 2014 at 12:32 pm #52264sunseeker26ParticipantHi daydreamer. No I’m not from India. I think the only word I have for you is self preservation. You just have to think where is all this negative emotions taking you and doing to you. It’s not helping you. So you have to find some way to pick yourself up and find some light in this world. Sometimes all it takes is being close to nature. Maybe you are addicted to her because there is something inside you that is missing? I learnt the hard way that when you look outside of yourself for love or affirmation you will eventually be disappointed. No one can love or take care of you better than yourself. It’s a very easy thing to say than do. Find a way to listen to your inner voice I guess. It should have all the answers to your questions. Just be sure to listen with open ears and heart as sometimes it will tell you things your ego may not necessarily want to hear! Much love and peace xxx Aysha
March 4, 2014 at 1:35 pm #52271
sandraParticipant“Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.”
Robert Brault
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.”
Hafiz of Shiraz
“View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, ‘What was I thinking,’ breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, ‘What was I learning?’”
Karen Salmansohn
“At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.”
Christine Mason Miller
reading these have given me an incredible strength hope and light. Hope the are as useful to u as the were to me!!!
March 5, 2014 at 3:32 pm #52350
Jennifer BardallParticipantThe only way to move on from this is to just move on.
It takes time. It takes dedication to yourself. But there is more to life than this.
Sadly, heartbreak happens – it’s a chance we all take when we open our heart to someone else. I know it held me back for a long time, not wanting to be hurt again.
The only cure is time, and getting your own life in order. Fill up with your friends, your interests, your hobbies. Get the hell off Facebook for a while (seriously, there’s more to life, my friend). Stop the stalking. It’s a waste of your time and your life. In time you’ll see what I mean. And no one can help you with that but you.
This girl is not the only girl in the world, and you’ll see that in time.
Best wishes to you!
March 5, 2014 at 3:36 pm #52351Jennifer BardallParticipantIt’s interesting to me that you offer this advice to someone else, yet you started this thread to ask for help.
I think you have the answers inside you, I really do. And the only way through it is time. Dedication to yourself, to your happiness. To filling yourself up with what makes your heart sing. To fill your life with things that make you happy to jump out of bed in the morning – friends, family, hobbies, learning, developing your talents and gifts, sharing yourself with the world. That’s the only prescription.
It just takes time. But you seem to be very intelligent and you seem to have a lot of understanding of yourself, and I think you have the tools. 🙂
March 5, 2014 at 4:50 pm #52354daydreamer91Participanthii jennifer, those are really wise words. I think you have been in my shoes. yes m going to stop stalking her, n with a lot of determination will stop thinking about her. No point crying over someone who doesn’t even care,right!! i have started to reconnect with myself n mylife ,u know to what i was n what my life was(full of freedom n happiness) before her. Its just that it all happened so recently n unexpectedly. Btw i never knew words have such power, till i read yours. thanks
March 5, 2014 at 4:59 pm #52355daydreamer91Participanthii ayesha, u have an indian name,so i thought,never mind. yes!! self preservation n also self respect. i was happy n had this freedom in my life before i met her. now i have gone back to my roots,trying to pick up from where i left a year ago. Its not an easy job but i am glad that i have bunch of people around me who have accepted me right back in. Sometimes i think so much have changed n sometimes it all feels static. and as they say, u ll never love anybody else unless u love yourself. 🙂
hugs n wishes ,DayDreamerMarch 5, 2014 at 4:59 pm #52356daydreamer91ParticipantSandra! amazing, such insightful n powerful words. Feel free to post more. 🙂
March 10, 2014 at 3:31 pm #52589sunseeker26ParticipantHi Jennifer,
Yours words were just what I needed to bring me out my recent haze. One day it’s good other days not so good. And it’s comforting to know that on the nit so good days there is. Site like this where people can be held and supported by virtual strangers yet they understand you better than people who you have shared years with. My biggest struggle has been rebuilding a life without the person who has been in it for 13 years. To not take that person into consideration anymore and replacing that with making myself the centre of my own world has been the toughest thing I have done in my life. But I read an interesting quote the other day about how your soulmate is not this fluffy and rosy ideology we have. Your soulmate gets into your skin, tears you apart, gets you on your hands and knees and holds up the mirror for you to all those things you need to face to get you to your truth. And I think that’s what happened in my situation. I don’t actually regret what happened, despite the pain, if it hadn’t have happened I would not be on my spiritual journey I am on today. Another quote that I came across today while reading eat pray love (haha) was quote by Rumi: god has long ago drawn the circle around the spot you stand in today. And that just puts things into perspective for me. Where I am today is not good nor bad it just is as it was always meant to be.
Wishing you peace, love, light and happiness. Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. Xx Aysha -
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