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Made a quick decision and now feel uncertain

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  • #355886
    Liisar
    Participant

    Hello! With the pandemic going on and traveling plans canceled, I started to think about getting a used trailer. I saw it as a symbol of freedom to go where I wanted and to meet awesome people at camping sites etc. I didn’t draw up a budget regarding the use of the trailer but had one in mind for the actual trailer. A small budget, but one that I could get a working trailer with. I had a talk about with my partner. We’ve been together for less than a year and have talked about our dreams etc. , so I’ve shared this dream with him before. I then suggested we get the trailer together, as he’d been thinking about getting a place to spend summers in and has had a trailer before. A day later we were looking at trailers online and two days later we had bought an old used one.

    The thing is, now I feel things went really fast and I hadn’t done the budgeting for the use of the trailer or had thought much about what it meant in practice to own one. Where to keep it when it’s not used (I have a few places, but not my own), how much the repairs and updates would be, what kind of car is needed to tow it (mine won’t do, but my partner’s will) and how to tow one. It was more a feeling I was chasing, I now think and I have a big ball of doubt in my mind. I tend to overthink and over plan and this was something quite uncharacteristic for me, just to act on something quite quickly. I also feel I put my partner in a position where he, too did something on a whim (at least a little bit) or at least was expecting me to be more clued up on things and more excited once we got the trailer. I feel ashamed that I didn’t consider things longer and harder and that I’m burdening people with my anxiety about the whole issue. It should be a happy thing and I should be excited, but I feel more worried than anything else. I feel uncomfortable about not knowing if I made a mistake or just feel beginner’s nerves, because I know nothing about trailers or being on the road with one. Moneywise I haven’t wrecked my budget (I’m a single mum, so I have a strict one), I mostly used money I had planned to use on travelling in the next 1,5 years.

    I know we can resell and things might turn out ok and I might fall in love with trailer travelling. But the issue is more about having invested money into a thing that was great on a level of thought but much more taxing in practice, not thinking it through and feeling ashamed for doing something almost on a whim. It might turn out great or become a money pit and a source of stress. What do you suggest I do to deal with the shame and get a more positive mindset going about a new thing with possibilities?

    #356012
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Liisar:

    “I feel uncomfortable about not knowing if I made a mistake.. because I know nothing about trailers or being on the road with one.. It might turn out great or become a money pit and a source of stress”-

    – you wrote that you used money you planned to use for travel in the next 1.5 years. I think that because of the pandemic and it seeming to last into the next 1.5 years in one form or another, it is an excellent idea to travel in a trailer= no hotels required, a lot of the travel will be outdoors instead of within restaurants and closed public spaces.

    It is not too late for you to  learn about trailers. Wikipedia has a long entry on “Trailer (vehicle” with related terms at the end of the entry, another entry on “Trailer park”; there are youtube videos on trailers, so.. you can learn today. As you learn more, your anxiety will lessen.

    anita

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