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Hi xenopustex,
My old friend Alan used to say, “It’s better than a kick in the azz!”
Meaning, bad stuff happens, and people might question him about why he could be happy and keep trying in the midst of failure/chaos… But his attitude was even though Good Thoughts weren’t “deserved”, it’s better than a kick in the azz.
I’d rather be in my own happy Universe. The blown tire means that something worse may have occurred literally down the road. The failed project means that I will use my hard won new skills, contacts and knowledge into something bigger and better. Why do you think there’s religion? Belief in a higher Being calms us the frack down. This isn’t denial. It’s just these thoughts are better than a kick in the azz.
Blessings,
Inky
Great post and you’re absolutely hitting the nail on the head. But I’m a bit surprised you’re making this post. Does anybody really believe that simply by believing something will happen, it will happen? If so how strong must their confirmation bias and denial of reality actually be? 😀
Life is chaotic and there are so many variables, you’ll never control it. What you can do is influence, choose, create, have power, etc. You can influence what happens and where you stand in relation to it. You can choose how your live your life and even ‘who you are’. You can create different stuff, thoughts, behaviours, lifestyles. You can have power to shape the unfolding of your life and the lives of others. In fact, forget “can”, you already do all of that, and so do I, and so does everybody else. We have enormous influence and the more we recognize that and embrace it, the more influential we become still.
But it’s influence, it’s not control, and shit will always happen. Strange things will happen. Coincidences will occur. The world is actually very chaotic and random. Personally I found it such a huge relief to stop asking “Why is this happening?”. A better question is “What have I done to contribute to this, so that I can learn for the future?”. But the thing is, sometimes you haven’t contributed anything. Sometimes shit has just happened. Somebody has gotten ill … for no reason other than their body developed an autoimmune disorder – maybe it was in the genes or something. Somebody has won the lottery … simply because they happened to buy a ticket that had the same numbers on it as the draw did.
However, one thing I always like to think you choose is what happens next. You’ve gotten ill … and what happens next? Because mindset WILL make a huge, huge difference to where you go from there. (And the mind does actually have an influence over the development of wellbeing and illness … an ENORMOUS influence. Just not a control – so stuff can still happen!) You’ve won the lottery … and what happens next? Do you spend it all in one go ‘believing’ you’ll win it again next year, or are you going to spend it wisely and focus on creating a life you’ll love living? Another way of asking this is, where do you CHOOSE to go from here? How do you choose to respond to this situation and how are you going to use the possibly random occurings to create awesome stuff in your life and be the person you want to be?
Forget about the law of attraction, it’s passive and it’s about sitting around hoping that your life works out. MAKE your life work out by applying consistent action.
… and do you know how many people’s lives goes downhill after winning the lottery..or after becoming rich and famous? 🙂
The one thing that i dislike from this ‘phenomenon’ of books based on the ‘law of attraction’ (that sell really fast and the only people they make rich and happy are their authors and publishing houses)… is the pressure and responsibility they put over our heads
1) We have to be ‘positive’ and happy, that is the ultimate goal of life, and everything else is a malfunction/disease
2) We are able and responsible to govern with our emotions and feeling, like we do in the material world, and God forbid we have a bad one (we should replace it with a good one like it’s an old sofa bed)…Well, guess what? We CAN’T control emotions all the time and.. it’s ok. It really is. And there are very few people on the planet that are happy most of their lives. Bad things happen, and it’s not our fault. Feeling down is part of being alive and we shouldn’t treat it as a ‘bad luck omen’, disease… try to deflect from it, substitute it with good thoughts, kill it with pills all the time. It might work for some situations, but when it comes to big things, ignoring it will just backfire. I am not saying I don’t believe in law of attraction, but I am starting to think that it defies some rules of psychology and human nature, and given the fact that I have many friends that try to live by it, I don’t see how it helped their emotional state. Even when they got some things they craved for :).
It’s funny cause I know for sure that some of our good thoughts manifest, I know there is nothing more fulfilling than a dream come true after long hours putting positive energy into it, working for it. Or finally reaching that calm blissful state of mind, being in peace with ourselves and find a purpose. I know I’ve had these things and states many times and i will have them many more times again.
But, to be honest, I have also always had periods of depression and anxiety as most of the people on this planet, and I don’t think there is a self-help book out there that can prevent these states or the situations that provoke them… And I refuse to fear these states anymore and treat them like they are going to harm me energetically. They are unpleasant, I don’t like them, but they are part of life. The might come again sometimes, but they will go, too. You can still function and do great stuff when you don’t have your best day. I will always remember the answer of a really good and incredibly smart friend the first time I told him I have depression. He said ‘well… some of the best people in history had it…’.
I don’t know… just a thought.. Let’s visualize and do positive affirmations, meditate, practice feng shui, meditate, do vision boards, do crystal healing.. 🙂 It can’t harm us 🙂 I still have my vision boards, mandalas, etc, and i love them. I actually went places I had on those boards 🙂
But let’s also accept that among these wonderful situations in our lives, there will be also bad ones, and instead of trying to stay away from them, let’s learn mechanisms to cope with them when they come… I might be under impressions under Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, but I still believe that it helped more people in distress than any
Law of attraction book 🙂
I don’t disagree with anything anyone is saying but what about the placebo effect? That is a recognized effect where someone’s belief in something can effects the outcome. So much so that all drugs trials have to be double blind to make sure it doesn’t affect the data….
Right. I’m not dismissing the power of the human mind, at all. We virtually create our entire experience of reality. The sense we make of reality totally changes where we stand in relation to it. But we don’t have complete control. Noel Edmonds recently said to a cancer sufferer that she should have just done more positive thinking or something like that, and it hit the news. Now, I’m not arguing that having relaxing, positive and powerful ways of looking at the world and making sense of reality don’t have an influence. They have a very, very large influence. They’re just not the be all and end all, we can’t choose everything that happens, because we are surfing the waves of life and those waves are complex and go far beyond each individual. There’s way too many variables involved to think we can just control everything and choose every outcome. We seriously can’t. As for illness, maybe it’s just in the genes, or environmental or what we ate, or whatever. Complex biological factors. And that’s why Noel Edmonds comes across to me as being so insensitive … and he may have a shock if he comes across a serious illness himself, one that does not appear to have its origin in, or even a relationship to, any “negative thinking”.
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