I am new here and feel like I am having a mid life crisis as I approach 40 years old in a few months. I have a wife of 9 years and two young children. I work full time as a public servant in the government and I have never felt so lost.
I am socially awkward, I lack confidence, I am full of self doubt and feel like I could be doing more with my life but I have no idea WHAT! I only have high school education and for the last 22 years of bouncing around from job to job I have avoided mostly doing anything that makes me uncomfortable because I don’t enjoy being challenged, I have no ambition or drive and want to just cruise through life just under the radar.
In recent years I have felt myself getting dumber, I get so intimidated whenever people smarter than me talk and it brings me down constantly. My home life is fine and that makes me happy but my professional life is a different story, I cannot be myself at work no matter what job I may be in. I just want to be happy and true to myself (what I am trying to figure out still).
Currently I am on antidepressants which help with my anxiety and I am seeing a psychotherapist on a weekly basis.
You wrote: “I don’t enjoy being challenged, I have no ambition or drive and want to just cruise through life just under the radar.”-
Were you, as a child, negatively criticized repeatedly by a parent, discouraged when you initiated something new…?
I am asking, because a child is naturally ambitious and driven, naturally enjoys challenges (while needing the safety of a parent)- often, unfortunately, that natural drive is taken away from children.
Hi BJ, nice to hear you share. Well, there are people who have the same personality – being contented with simplicity in life. If you wont mind, you can take a look at Myers-Briggs 16 Personality Tests so you can just have a background on what you possess as a person. This will make you appreciate what you’ve got despite of the things you are feeling. 🙂
You don’t have to be challenged and succeed in just the professional arena. I know you claim to have no interests, but what do you do in your free time? Even if it’s just, say, watching TV, you could for example write reviews. Or join a local sports team. Or volunteer as a Scout master. Read the NYT every day. Get a learning program you can watch. Get an online degree.
Then you later might gain more confidence.
And take it from me, a funny thing happens after 40. Suddenly you aren’t a kid anymore and people will start looking to YOU for advice, wisdom and guidance.
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