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moral differences / professional relationship

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  • #372490
    Nichole
    Participant

    I’m having a really hard time reconciling my feelings about something that happened at work.  A coworker went to college for philosophy so I was casually asking about his thoughts on various philosophies.  It culminated in a discussion about morality and he said that he believes that “anyone who is not christian is incapable of morality” and when asked if every other culture that is not christian is incapable of morality he said “anyone who is not christian is wrong.”  The conversation ended at that point and we haven’t really spoken about anything non work related since.  This happened months ago.  I was the one asking about his beliefs.  I know many people think like this.  It’s not for me to judge what anyone believes.  It’s just that every time I look at him I think about the genocide of entire cultures because of this belief.  I find myself upset and disgusted and sometimes enraged on behalf of my ancestors.  It’s been coming out in weird ways, I’ve set boundaries with contact outside of work and I find myself acting very cold.  I don’t know what to do.  I’m upset even though I feel like I shouldn’t be.  What is the right course of action here?

    • This topic was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Nichole.
    #372519
    Brandy
    Participant

    Hi Nichole,

    You’re not required to share your coworker’s religious beliefs just as he’s not required to share yours. We’re all different, believe different things. His ego needs to be right and doesn’t want to accommodate any religious beliefs that are different from his own, but your ego is similar. You’re finding yourself upset, disgusted, and enraged because of your intolerance to his beliefs. Your ego wants to make him an enemy.

    Don’t make him an enemy. Don’t fall into the trap of having to make yourself right and him wrong. Just accept that we all believe what we believe.

    This happens with political beliefs too, the desire to make those on the other side of the aisle our enemies.

    For this reason, religion and politics are topics many people choose not to discuss.

    B

    #374968
    wnishin
    Participant

    We all have beliefs, I’ve always felt if you did right by others and your heart was in the right place everything is going to be just fine. I’ve seen a lot of religious conflict within my family, who’s right? They all are!

    I once caught some Holy Ghost, it felt good to sing but not so much the praise. I have a hard time submitting to organized religion, Christianity. I have a hard time believing sin simply washes away.  My Uncle Mike found Christ, he used to drive his van to hell and back, picking up all the neighborhood kids, red, brown, white, yellow, we all waited at the end of our driveways, young minds, the new sheep, eagerly waiting to fill out the aging flock.

    I’ve been to a dozen churches in my life, and only one had a pastor that could lift a spirit to the sky. When family falls to sickness, addiction, whatever darkness this world throws at the heart, this man brings his book and the belief that anybody can be saved.

    When Mike lost his boys in a car accident, he lost his way, and walked again with the word, I remember this pastor sitting at the hospital for three days, while Scott went through surgery after surgery, the hardest thing, the brutal truth, was they were so busy stopping the internal wounds, they didn’t realize his brain was dead, this man year after year was there, long after any of us ever stepped foot in his church or even gave him a dime, because of his actions I believed in something divine.

    When my Grandma passed away the Medicine man gave his speech, there was drums and singing. I remember this row of little white haired ladies in the front, and how the Medicine man kept saying white man’s Jesus, generations of blood was spilled and this white man’s Jesus was a myth, if you tried to grab him you’d only have empty hands, he wasn’t real, nothing more than a justification to suppress a culture. (Not my words, but I was witness).

    The Creator gave us the sky, mountains, trees, the earth we walk on. Things you can hold in your hands, Creator didn’t need a book, he gives you things you can touch, see, and feel. The little old ladies in the front row looked as if the Medicine man was going to reap their eternal souls, and in this time of sadness I smiled, the woman I loved like a Mother, resting in a casket and I smiled, because I felt her smiling in the sky, and thought this is one heck of a show, and Grandma wouldn’t have wanted to pass any other way.

    When my Mom passed from cancer, there was two sermons, a pastor and medicine man (in fact the two from above if you can imagine), after words, the pastor walked me around the church, it had changed, but this man still remembered me, it had been over a decade since I stepped foot in the building, his hand on my back, his wife’s eyes lighting up, proud to see the little trouble making Indian kid, grew up into a man. We talked and not once did he question any beliefs, or force any issues, in fact he was open to the fact I believe that all religions lead to the same being, there is just different names, it’s good for our spirit to believe, after all we humans have minds, and what kind of being would create such a thing, not to have them ask questions.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by wnishin.
    #378747
    Wanderingstar56
    Participant

    I agree wnishin. I, too believe that all paths lead to the same being or universal spirit. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.

    Nichole – your work colleague is showing his ignorance and flaunting his own ego when he says  ‘anyone who is not Christian is incapable of morality’. I am shocked that he has studied philosophy at college and still has such a closed mind. I studied philosophy and theology at university and I believe that if a person goes to into higher education and comes out with a closed mind then they have wasted their time. The whole idea of education is to open peoples’ minds. That’s not to say that they shouldn’t have a belief system but at least they have thought it all through and are aware and have respect for others’ beliefs.

    Don’t waste your energy of getting angry with your colleague. He needs your pity for being so closed minded.

     

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