My bf are so opposite from each other.

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This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 10 months ago by Jade.

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January 20, 2014 at 4:24 am #49392
Angelique
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My bf and i are so opposite from each other that this is starting to come between us.. When i say up he says down, when he says black i say white. Can it ever work?
How can we compromise our differences? I’m worries we will end up resenting each other.

Our main big issue at the mo is that i don’t get on with his best mate’s gf who always bitch about anyone or everyone every time we see her. I feel uncomfortable hanging round with her and refuse to hang out with them anymore. my bf says it doesn’t bother him?? How do i compromise with that? I made an effort with her for the sake of my bf seeing his best mate but she doesn’t like me because stood up to her once and said i don’t want to hear your bitchiness and should really stop all this nasty acts against others. As a result she doesn’t want to make an effort with me.
This has proven to be really difficult amongst our friends and somehow my bf hasn’t given me support..
I said to him i’d rather not hang out with this girls anymore BUT if it was a group gathering i.e mutual friend’s birthdays then i will be civilised. But my bf misunderstood what i said and instead i got a response saying “well if you don’t want to see her anymore then we might as well break up as i will not be force not to see my best mate” ???
I was really hurt and it comes back to misunderstandings..

We have sorted it out now but can someone please give me advices as to how to resolve misunderstanding with someone you know will be opposite to the way you think as i’m worried we will end up resenting each other. We’ve been together nearly 2 years and each time we have a disagreement we seem to have massive 4hr talk, feel exhausted, end up nearly breaking up but then come to mutual agreement.. it seems to form a pattern and we feel very exhausted with it all
- This topic was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Angelique.
January 20, 2014 at 11:28 am #49411

Samantha
Participant

Me and My boyfriend have the same exact problem. Instead if pushing issues sometimes its better just to let him think he is right, its saves you the aggervation of feeling like he’s ignoring your concerns. Which he most def is. IF it is something that is bothering you to this extent and he continues to ignore it you need to be stern and direct.. Explain what bothers you why, and what he can do to help. If he’s not willing to compromise he is unfortunately probably not even worth your time..
As for the girl whose always clinging around and starting shit, if they refuse to see why she is someone you prefer to aviod, they are not only stupid but your boyfriend and his best friend should just hang out together..

Best Regards
Men are tough and clueless lol

January 22, 2014 at 3:15 am #49507
Brandi Nicole
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I believe he should listen to you and if she makes you uncomfortable he needs to respect that. You should not have to hang out with her just because he wants you to. I used to be a guy for over 2 years, and if I did something he didn’t agree with he would threaten to break up with me. That is not healthy in a relationship. A relationship is a two-way street, you both have to make sacrifices in order for it to work. Maybe you should tell him if he really wants to hang out with them that is fine but he has to understand that you and her are not getting along. You can’t help who you like and dislike. He should stand by your decisions, not try to attack you for the way you feel, and most definitely not make you feel bad or guilty. I am just going by what you posted but it seems like he isn’t being supportive. The only thing I know you could do is explain to him exactly why you do not like her and he is going to have to explain it to his best friend and maybe his best friend can have a talk with his girlfriend, but more than likely this is going to be pointless. Some girls are set in their ways and she will probably end up bitching that much more.

I have been there before and sometimes the relationship doesn’t work out if you and your partner clash all the time. It gets very old arguing about the same stuff, breaking up, and then getting back together. The cycle has to stop. Either you two are going to work out your differences and decide to figure out ways to make it work, or you need to cut your losses. What is more important than anything is for you to be happy and healthy. I know how much stress it can put on you when something is always going on with your partner. I hope my words can help you in your situation. 🙂
- This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Brandi Nicole.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Brandi Nicole.
January 22, 2014 at 5:02 am #49515

Alf
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Sometimes people never agree, some like the movies, others like TV. Some take things serious, others take them light, you can go to bed early whilst your partner likes to party all night. Some like it quite, some like to shout, but then you get those people together and it just all works out.

January 22, 2014 at 12:02 pm #49539

Jade
Participant

I’m confused. If you don’t want to hang out with this girl, how does this prevent your BF from hanging out with them on his own. If I was in your shoes I’d tell him “Listen, I don’t like her, she rubs me the wrong way, so I’m going to gracefully bow out of any social gather where I’ll be forced to talk to her. But you go on and have drinks with them!” I hate the “I won’t go if you won’t go” ploy, it’s manipulative and passive-aggressive.
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