Dear davis:

I don’t have experience with this particular situation, that is, being in a long distance relationship with a man who broke up with me because he is depressed. If you would like my input anyway, here it is:

You asked: “what are the chances that when he recovers he will find his way back to me?”-my suggested answer is that first, he may not recover. He will probably feel better as no feeling stays the same. He may have a … revival period of time, but the depression may come and go. I don’t know.

Second, what the relationship has been for you, what it meant for you is not necessarily what it meant for him. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the relationship are troubling him, standing in his way of feeling better, or so he feels.

You could ask him what about the relationship is troubling him, what it is that he “doesn’t want to have to worry about”- that would give you more information and a better ability to predict likelihood of getting back together.

anita

Dear davis:

His explanation to the breakup makes sense. I am glad you have this information. I heard long distance relationships are very difficult. I never had one but the short distance ones were difficult enough.

I hope he recovers from his depression and that you recover from the breakup.

anita

Hi Davis,

I don’t have much to add, but something to keep in mind that he may not get better or even if he does, or if he gets depressed again, many depressed people don’t have alot of motivation to “up and move” “maintain long distance relationships”. Another concern, is let’s say he does move, and he “gets depressed again” will be break up with you again? I suffer from depression myself. Sometimes the smallest things can be overwhelming. Long distance tends to make things very complicated. I hope it all works out.