It’s my ex birthday tomorrow and “the energy these urges for me to contact him are so powerful like I am fighting against a strong force”. I so want to text him a Happy Birthday so he knows that I care and that I remembered without “fb” reminders (as I find this important for my birthday ) etc. but I’m trying to be strong but it is so distracting I can’t think or eat today. Am I thinking of doing it for me to get validation from him, is it unkind to not say Hi Happy Birthday? I have not contacted him all of this year (and he has not contacted me). Is it wrong to send a text? Thanks for reading.
Many of us have this problem with ‘guilt factor’. And good to know that I’m not the only one 🙂 Last year, I was thinking exactly what you’re going through right now. Thank God I didn’t text him. For the reason being ‘It is now a ‘PAST”. And it would be better for both to MOVE ON.
More importantly, if he hasn’t sent you text in a year; isn’t it clear enough for you to understand that he has moved on; or want to.
I have learned in the past one year to hold on to this thought of ‘caring’ and believe me, it has only helped me to grow and be better!
I totally agree. Nothing will be gained by sending that text. You do need to stop looking back and look to your future and care about yourself. If you haven’t already, look at the Baggage Reclaim website. That, together with Tiny Buddha, certainly helped me understand my motivations and move on from a relationship that was never going to have a positive future. It was a long hard road ( & I am still travelling it after 6 months of no contact) but I now can see a brighter future. Making contact on birthdays etc just reopens the hurt and does YOUR self esteem no good! Look for something really good to do today to distract you. BE STRONG!. Good luck 🙂
I was thinking the same thing to myself a week ago as well. And I decided it wasn’t worth it. Exes are exes for a reason. My ex and my birthday fall within the same week. I thought well, “if he didn’t wish me a happy birthday, that is a clear sign within itself.” The man put me through hell and back, mentally torturing me about my looks and weight. If you don’t plan on having him back in your life, then sending him a simple text won’t be a wise move on your part. It is my belief that it will give him a little power over you, boosting his ego a little more. Ask yourself, why be emotionally available to him and give him that attention when he wasn’t there for you?
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