Home→Forums→Tough Times→My husband is highly depressed and a bit suicidal.. how can I help him??
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 2 months ago by Quinn Martin.
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September 25, 2018 at 9:27 am #227433bee_beeParticipant
My husband is highly depressed. It always lingers but I haven’t seen him in this much pain for about 3-4 years. We recently moved out to our own place. Prior to this we were renting a back house on his families property. When we lived there he had a lot to blame his issues on.. his parents.. his awful neighbors.. our living conditions etc. Now that those things have been eliminated he’s still left feeling unhappy and I think that is what has triggered these emotions again. Some days are good and I think progress is being made but then something triggers him and just like that we are back to that low point.
I’m struggling to see him this way. He has even said suicidal things to me that hurt like hell. I want to fix his problems and heal him but no matter what I do or say it isn’t enough. How can i help him? I’ve tried to be optimistic and tell him that he’s been down this road before and he persevered.. that it’s not his time yet and together we can get through this. Never do I dismiss his feelings and tell him “get over it”. But sometimes he will listen and sometimes he gets angry and tells me that i don’t get it and i’m making it worse. It kills me inside and i’m finding myself in my own depression as a result. I feel alone because I want to help him but it’s not working. So again my question is how can you comfort and help someone who is losing hope? I’ve suggested natural supplements such as Sam-e which he is taking but he will not seek therapy. He tried it once before and that lasted about two sessions.
It’s really taking a toll. Sometimes he will get irrational, angry, and jealous due to insecurities i’m sure don’t stem from me. We’ve been together 13 years and I’ve always been loyal and loving as hell.. it’s just affecting us in so many ways.
- This topic was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by bee_bee.
September 25, 2018 at 12:10 pm #227479AnonymousGuestDear bee_bee:
To understand better, I ask: what were his complaints regarding his parents (past and while living with you behind their property) and what is the nature of his relationship with them?
* In case you answer, I will soon be away from the computer and back in about 15 hours.
anita
September 27, 2018 at 10:56 am #227797Quinn MartinParticipant“I’ve tried to be optimistic and tell him that he’s been down this road before and he persevered.. that it’s not his time yet and together we can get through this.” this sounds very good 🙂 you seem to have the right idea on how to cheer someone up
But like you said it’s something deeper, when figuring out anything deep finding out someone’s childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, and the relationship with their primary caregivers is a great place to start.
I’m interested in if he was like this when you met him? Did he blame things on external objects when you met him? How old are you both now and were you when you met?
Yet still these are all distractive questions from what Anita mentioned which is, how is the relationship with his parents?
That’s a great place to start, then write your reply here and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
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