Dee,
I am sorry about your stress about your job. Been there, done that.
I don’t know if it helps for you to know that regardless of having a job or not, you will be OK. You will survive.
If there is a HR department, I would check in with them before meeting with your boss and note your concerns about his sexual harassment (as you shared here) so that will be on record. Make your own note of the meeting as well.
What is the company policy about personal emails? If there is not a written policy then your boss may just reprimand you. If he tries to use this as leverage so he can be “closer” to you then let him know that you view that as harassment then report that back to HR (without needing to tell him so he won’t try to change the story with HR).
Usually for most large companies, they have a policy where you cannot use company resources for personal use such as email.
Let us know how it goes.
Remember Dee, you can deal with whatever happens. You are smart and strong. You will survive. Don’t let others have such power over you to stress you out or intimidate you. I know, easy to say, hard to do.
Like I said, I know from personal experiences of losing my much needed job. I can and have survived. Once you know you’ll be OK no matter what then the anxiety should lessen.
A mantra “I’ll be OK no matter what” may help.
Take care,
Mark