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Dee

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #91017
    Dee
    Participant

    Dear Kenny

    Though I understand that you are gentle by nature and have trouble identifying boundaries, let me tell you, everyone needs space. Extroverts and introverts all included. This is how we grow. Being out of a restricting relationship not very long ago, I can very well connect to you. The first step is to identify the problem. You know that you are in a relationship that is hampering your growth. The next step is asking yourself whether you can do anything about it. How much control do you have so that you might change things? Honestly answer the questions like whether you will like to share the rest of your life with a person who leaves you no scope for growth? Is it worth it? You are already playing the victim by accepting her reasoning. Would you rather be in a bond where there are different standards set for both of you? Or would you go for a relationship that is based on the values you share and equality? Meditate on these questions for some time. Only you, my friend, only you can help yourself.

    Best,
    Dee

    PS: I am typing this from a small 4 inch screen device which makes it super hard to go back to the message and edit. Kindly ignore typo if any 😊

    #82822
    Dee
    Participant

    Dear L,

    Your situation is so much to similar to what I am going through right now. However you seem to have handled it so much better than me. I know that ‘no contacts’ are not easy and there is no such thing that ‘getting over’ 100%. But if you are clear in your head that the relationship was not healthy for you and if you trace back the reasons why you broke up in the first place, you will realize that it is best for you (and for him as well) not to reach him if you cannot do it from a place of calmness. Give it some time. Face all this anger, denial, sadness and I am sure, in the end you will be able to look at this whole situation as a learning experience which has helped you grow.

    All the best!

    #72785
    Dee
    Participant

    Thanks a lot Moongal, Yue and Inky for your kind words.

    Sometimes when things worsen like these, I am not able to see the bigger picture even though I might know the way out. Its easier to weigh down and crumble beneath the hateful words of others and to forget oneself. This is what happened to me. So i have taken your advice and right now the only person i will be focusing on is me.

    Inky, I will definitely try asserting my side as you have advised.

    Loads of love to you all, many many thanks again 🙂

    #50331
    Dee
    Participant

    Thanks a lot for your kind words Mark! They make me feel so much better.

    As of now my boss has left for a short trip so I have not confronted him yet. Lets see how things work out.

    That big fat dose of positiveness is all one needs sometimes. And I am so gonna incorporate that mantra in my meditation practise.

    Thanks again!

    #44506
    Dee
    Participant

    Hi Rideeta,

    Reading your story I was strongly reminded of one of my own.

    During my college days, I was deeply fascinated by all the wildlife documentaries and the colorful magazines which depicted the wild animals and their conservation stories. This prompted me to take up a subject called wildlife studies as one of the majors. I thought I would ace it as I was so ‘deeply interested’ in it. And I was a good student. I did fairly well than most of the other students in all other subjects. But I totally messed in this one particular subject. It was absolutely different from what I had expected. No wildlife movies but all software and statistics.I had a hard time making head and tail of what my teacher taught. It was all Greek and Latin to me. Gradually I started neglecting it and opened the books only at the eleventh hour during my exams. I realized only then what I had actually missed all the way. In the end I barely managed to pass. Imagine that.

    Lessons learnt: Just interest does not help. You need to put in work.

    As you have mentioned you have just started college and you are finding it tough.Well, it is natural to feel so. Just go back to the things which made you like mathematics in the first place and start with a clean slate. Do your home work and slowly build up your strength. Life has taught me no study is a waste.
    Do not let your initial failure bother you. Work towards it. You will be definitely rewarded for your efforts.

    Academic success is important but it is just one aspect of our lives. There is so much to do. So much to dream. So much to learn. So much to discover and so much to explore. Believe me, you have a lot to live for. So do not cry anymore, put on that big goofy smile and just do your best.

    Good Luck!

    #44153
    Dee
    Participant

    Hii Memm,

    I turned 25 just a month back and contrary to your situation, I have always been in relationships. I still am. Thing is I still have felt utterly lonely at times in spite of this fact. I have been a mess and have had really tough times when I felt there is no way out.

    So thing number one: Do not try to get into a relationship just because you are lonely.

    And secondly, I know this one is hard, but pull yourself out and show up even when you do not feel like showing up. Try to do the the things for yourself, focus on your studies. Your efforts will definitely build your confidence and that thing is contagious for sure. The key is you. The answer lies with you.

    Ever wondered if this loneliness might be helpful rather than what you think it is doing to you now? Think about it.

    And do not forget to wear that smile.

    Loads of love!!

    🙂 🙂

    #43817
    Dee
    Participant

    Thanks a lot Matt!

    It feels so good to hear from you. It feels so nice to read that I deserve the same kind of care and affection as anyone else.

    I am not able to distance myself from him but in bits and pieces, I have started this journey of becoming my own love. I hope it all goes well.

    Thanks again!

    #43813
    Dee
    Participant

    Anybody…..somebody……please guide.

    #43094
    Dee
    Participant

    Hey Rayne! Although I am not yet one of the deep and insightful bunch, I am taking baby steps in that direction for sure. Like you, I am also shaken from some recent experiences of mine.
    But here are the following things which I try to incorporate in to my daily routine:

    1. Maintaining a journal. This helps me to lighten my emotional load to a great extent.
    2. Meditation (although I am really bad at it)
    3. Forcing a smile.
    4. Hearing out to people
    5. Not comparing myself to others and accepting myself.
    6. Working out at the gym
    7. Deep sleep.

    Coping with change is really tough but always looking out for the silver lining helps me.

    Hope this helps!

    Take care 🙂

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)