December 7, 2019 at 8:55 am #326439
My teacher told me I am lazy. She said it in a joking way, but she was also serious at the same time. She is the kind of teacher who just jokes around a lot even when she is talking about a serious subject. I had her 2 years in a row. She told me that I used to be one of her best students, but that I am lazy this year.
The thing is though, I’m not lazy. I study equally as hard. I don’t know why, but this really bothered me and discouraged me. She began calling me lazy at the beginning of the year. For example, when we did an in-class assignment, I finished first. Then, she began yelling at me, asking me why I’m not writing and told me I was lazy… but I wasn’t writing because I had finished. Then, on the last day of the class, she told me (again) that I’m lazy and that I’ve gone downhill.
I just get annoyed because I don’t get any positive feedback any more. She used to always tell me I was doing really well, but she doesn’t anymore. I study equally as hard and get the same grades. I don’t understand. Is there any way I can deal with this?
I just had to post this because I’m trying to study for my finals tests, but I can’t stop thinking about this. It’s distracting me. I am beginning to feel like a bad student and that my hard work is for nothing since clearly my teachers don’t think it’s good enough.
March 12, 2020 at 3:07 pm #343016
- This topic was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by Katie.
First of all, your teacher should never call you lazy or any other negative term. She should never yell at you either. As an educator myself, I know first hand if you are struggling that her job is to help you be successful. Have you told your parents? Have you attempted to communicate with the teacher letting her know how you feel? Are you asking her for assistance on how to improve anything you are struggling with? If your school has a social worker, a counselor, or a psychologist, you should definitely consult them.
Also, though this is a great community of support, please remember that users, such as myself, and this site are not intended to provide and do not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Nothing here is designed to replace medical or psychiatric treatment.
MelindaMarch 13, 2020 at 8:47 am #343120
It is very understandable that your teachers’ words have resulted in anxiety. I suspect that most of us have had this experience, if not from a teacher someone else’s who’s opinion matters to us.
When I was troubled in a similar way, I wrote an author of the book, Philosophy for dummies and for whatever his reasons he responded and gave me some advice I have never forgotten… I have forgotten the issue that was bother me. Isn’t that true of almost all such issues?
Tom’s advice: ‘We work for that which no work is required” and the rule of charity. The rule of charity states that if there are multiple possible explanations for an event and there is no way for you to determine which possible explanation is the correct one then chose the most helpful explanation.
The recommendation here might be to sit down with your teacher and have a real conversation. Scary.
In the Book: Critical conversations suggests that before you enter such dialog taking the time to understand your stories, identifying when they are victim and villain stories. Victim and villain stories are sure fired way to end a conversation before it begins. So again, the rule of charity applies as it allows you to enter dialog with an open mind.
You may also find that by going through the exercise of choosing the better possible explanation that there is no need for a conversation. Its possible you don’t need your teacher’s validation in this matter