Hello,

I have concluded my sister is a narcissist. In my mind I think “She doesn’t meeeeean to take advantage of me” but it still happens and leaves me sad. It took until I was seriously ill to cut contact with my other sister- who was a MAJOR narcissist herself. It took me so long, after so much countless abuse, because it’s hard for me to think people can be this way. I feel so loving, and giving, and can’t imagine using other people so my mind constantly says “They don’t mean that. She does love you.”. It takes so much abuse for me to finally say okay I am literally broken now from all of your pressure.

My sister and I grew up apart. We are very different. Sometimes I feel she doesn’t even enjoy hangout with me, but uses me for my house.  I wanted to have a sister. You know, the whole sister experience. But I think she is taking advantage of me, and part of me deep down feels she is truly narcissistic and doesn’t feel the loving emotions I feel. Part of me thinks she truly doesn’t love me, because she can’t. I don’t see consciousness in her eyes- does that make sense? Am I wrong?

Anyway, I don’t want to just distance myself as I did last time she overstayed. I kind of want her to know why I am choosing to distance myself. She always says “why do you hate me” since I don’t want to hangout often. I realized she is a little toxic and I should stay away. She is negative, and overstays the sleepover.

I am torn between the love I feel for family, even if they don’t love me. I want to help so so so so much, always. I will always want to help. It’s hard for me to turn my back even if i’m being abused. It takes until I am totally broken to say, okay I actually cannot go on any longer.

Have you ever kept up with a narcissist or did you just cut them off completely?

If I stop all contact I will feel bad. I will feel I didn’t help a family member in need, but that’s something i’d need to accept.