September 24, 2014 at 6:46 pm #65509AnonymousInactive
I recently graduated high school back in May and I am really struggling with making some decisions right now. The past few months I have been battling severe depression and anxiety. I had tough times at the end of my school year regarding loss of close personal relations, moved, and fought my depression after said events all throughout the summer. I asked my parents if they felt okay with me taking some time off before school. I did not feel ready by any means and knew I was not ready. They won’t let me take a full year off and are strongly encouraging me to stay at home only until January where I can go to school and live on campus in the winter instead of me going next fall. I have desperately been trying to find a job since school ended because of my mother’s unexpected unemployment and my need for my own income to pay for personal needs like my own phone bill. I got a job working at one of the largest haunted houses in the country recently and I start next week. I have been looking at how much its going to cost for me to go to this college, and I have sat down with my parents countless times expressing how I don’t see how they can help pay for this. Deep down, and I have thought about this too many times, I feel I should take the full year off. My friend is about to move into his own apartment and is looking for a roommate. I want to move in with him, get a job, understand the workforce better, understand what it means to budget and handle finances on my own, and really take the time to understand what it is I want to do in college. I just do not feel comfortable at all paying so much money for a college when I do not have an understanding of what direction I want to go. Its really a question of “do I go into an expensive college blind about what I want to do in life?” or “Do I live with a trusted friend and learn more about what I really want and THEN commit to this college?”
HELP I NEED AN OUTSIDE OPINION SO I CAN WRAP MY THOUGHTS AROUND BOTH SITUATIONS WITH CLARITY
ThanksSeptember 24, 2014 at 11:19 pm #65516ChadParticipant
Speaking from the point of view of someone who had an opportunity to finish my college education right after High School, but instead chose to get myself distracted with all of my “adult responsibilities.” I can tell you this, no matter how difficult you feel it will be to go to college now, given all these circumstances you mentioned, it will be 10x harder if you put it off for later on.
Right now you’re only bills are a cell phone and tuition? incidental expenses? I would kill for those to be my only financial concerns… and before you think Im some old dude, Im only in my late twenties.
At your age, no one really expects anything out of you, other than to do exactly what your parents are encouraging you to. Go to college, get your degree, because honestly without it no amount of “understanding the workforce” is ever really going to get you on track to a career, you’ll always just be “the workforce.”
Concerns about money are completely legit, most young people get insanely in debt to go to the “best school” when often times the people in the cubicle next to them after graduation paid half the price for the same degree. Unless you’re going into some extremely technical field the reputation of the college means very little, especially if your majoring in anything liberal arts. If you’re hesitant about moving away and the tuition? May I suggest a local community college? its often 1/4 the price of a major state school, its a great bridge academically between HS and a University. They do a great job of offering a flexible schedule for people who want to work part time and go to school full time and if you communicate with your advisers and you stay within the same state post secondary education system most if not all your hours will carry over to the state universities. Also if you decide after 2 years college isnt for you at least you have a degree that much no one will be able to take from you.
No matter what you decide trust me when I say, no matter how difficult you think the prospect of college is now, as you get older it only gets that much harder to juggle. If I had a time machine I would go back to my 18 year old self and tell him to get it together… and not make the same mistake.September 25, 2014 at 8:15 am #65553luciaParticipant
I really like Chad’s advice and experience that he shared with you.
I would just add, wherever you go for school, you can always speak with a academic counsellor and they can likely help you get a sense of what you might be interested and give you suggestions on what to take in terms of classes, so at least you get a taste/feel of what you might want to study. I’ve had people that I’ve gone to school with start off in one major and graduate with a completely different major. That’s the beauty of school. You usually have a set curriculum of courses for a major and they generally arrange it so you can pick some electives to take that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Sometimes you don’t even have to take mandatory courses that particular year and swap it with an elective. You can probably even request to talk to an upper year student and get a perspective from them about courses/majors.
Hope that helps.
LuciaSeptember 27, 2014 at 4:21 am #65628KirstenParticipant
I don’t know my love… I agree with Chad… EVERYONE I know who is young and fresh out of college, working crappy jobs because of the recession, is just longing for College back. Working a repetitive job is not fun; and isn’t going to teach you much about life at all, I am sorry to say.
Also, I know that your problems sadly follow you everywhere; so the external circumstance is not going to matter much at all…
Are you getting help for your suffering <3? I personally have found meditation and exercise to be a massive, massive help to my wellbeing; I know it’s not everyone’s thing, but it gives an amazing feeling of happiness :). And actually really helps with clarity – which is what you are seeking!! I can’t recommend it highly enough :). My boyfriend and I often meditate, and problems and qualms we have had earlier that day we just suddenly find an answer to :).
Also I really hope you don’t feel like I am suggesting that these things will cure your depression and anxiety – not at all. I have suffered from both, and know it is definitely not anything you can magic away, it’s really painful. I just really think they will help ease your suffering and help you find a bit of clarity in your situation ^_^ <3.
*hugs* to you!