IJ,

Firstly, slow down! this just happened 10 days ago? You need to allow yourself the opportunity and right to grieve this loss. Grieving the end of a relationship can be just as difficult as grieving the death of a loved one, because in a sense it feels like they are truly gone as if they have died. So you need to be understanding and compasionate with yourself and understand that this is a process. The grieving process does not follow a stair step where you achieve on and go onto another. It can be very cyclical. It feels like the roller coaster ride from hell and as much as you want to get off, it just wont let you. Grieving the loss is a prerquisite to getting over it. If you dont want to carry this as baggage into your future you must let it take its corse. FEEL all the pain, anguish, hurt, that you will. Give yourself permission to be human.

Secondly, Im concerned you are dating again. Breakups can be like getting clean from a drug addiction as the “in love” feeling releases hormones into our brains that we go through withdrawal from when these are absent. Dating again or rebounding is simply looking for a new drug source, to make you feel better. It might make you feel better for a moment, but its only hurting you in the long run, emotionally. Can you honestly say at this curent time, you would be able to give any perspective guy/gal your full attention? be the type of person they deserve you to be? I think rebounds or dating so soon after a break up is not only unfair to yourself, its unfair to the person who may be looking for what you arent ready to give just yet.

Thirdly, you cant get over it if you are still holding on to it. Anticipating and holding out hope for his return will keep you in the past. It will prevent you from moving forward. Im sorry things did not work out, but what helped me after my recent breakup with someone I cared very much about was the peace in accepting, if it was a good relationships then it still would be….. however its not, its a breakup because something was broken. Sounds like he wasnt willing or able to make you a priority in his life. You know what IJ? You DESERVE to be a priority. You DESERVE someone who will give to you what it is you need from a relationship. If he wasnt able to do this for you, and he realized it and let you go. Then to be honest? Its probably for the best. Now you can focus on yourself, evaluate your part in what was wrong in the relationships, make adjustments, be honest, forgive him and most importantly forgive yourself. You now have an open ticket to move onto someone who will be better for you, knowing you are ready to be better in return. That is the gift of breakups, but only if you are willing to unwrap it and accept it.

The universe will take this back, when it is ready to. More than likely the reasons it has put this trial and hurdle into your life is that you needed to learn something from it. When you figure out what that is and own it. The universe will bring you something else as reward. We certainly can love and it not be returned. What type of love are we talking about here? Most people on here refer to only selfish love. The love they want to feel, not the love they want to give. Pure love is given without expectations, its loving yourself, its loving them. Loving him for letting you go, loving him for his difficulties and having compassion that maybe he is struggling, and not being angry or spiteful of him for his choice. Although it hurts so much and makes no sense at the moment.

Just tell yourself, it all begins and ends within you, I hope you find the peace it is you seek. You need to go find you again, once you do, time will heal all.

i think of love, to have positives for growth, and also negatives for growth.

to think about falling in love, is nice, and warm, and love is.

it also has a good way of taking control over the strongest of minds, and can create such phenominal change, positive always in my opinion, aslong as negatives are noticed and explored.

so id say, dont feel alone, you’re certainly not, from these feelings.

you are you, your mind is yours only, feel how you truly are happy to feel.

and some doors have to close, for others to open 🙂

all the best