- This topic has 42 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by Anonymous.
May 8, 2021 at 10:38 am #379507AnonymousGuest
You are welcome. My favorite curries are chicken and lamb yellow curries. I like my naan plain or sometimes with a bit of garlic or better, with a middle eastern spice called zaatar. I do enjoy coriander in garam masala dishes. Good to read that you have a favorite cat that likes to sleep near you. I wonder if you named her (?)
anitaJuly 1, 2021 at 9:19 am #382234AnonymousGuest
How are you, anonymous03?
anitaSeptember 13, 2021 at 4:48 am #386246anonymous03Participant
I apologise for not replying. I am not getting email notifications. I am doing much better with my IBS. The new doctor’s medications have helped greatly, and I even gained some weight. I have figured what helps me and what doesn’t. So far it’s going okay, even though I do have ups and downs. My anxiety is up and down too, and I do my best to manage.
I am now fully vaccinated, so that is a major relief. Things in India aren’t as good as we’d like them yet, but they are better than before. What with the Taliban taking over, I still fear for my country. But that is something I try not to dwell on.
It is so nice to hear from you. Always warms my heart. How are you doing?September 13, 2021 at 4:50 am #386247anonymous03Participant
Anita, my cat’s name is Lily.September 13, 2021 at 9:13 am #386259AnonymousGuest
Good to read that you are fully vaccinated and that the IBS medications have been helpful. I share your concern regarding your country and I am concerned for the U.S. and the rest of the world as well, in regard to radical politics… if Trump or one of his people takes over the U.S. in 3 years.. it’s scary to think of it. But like you, I try to not dwell on these real dangers because there’s nothing I can do about them: I must have already shared the Serenity Prayer with you that says in part: “Give me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot Change”.
I am glad to read back from you and tell Lily that I like her name, so flowing.. LiLy. I didn’t read your next thread and am curious to read it next!
anitaAugust 31, 2022 at 1:18 am #406374
t know if should open a new topic since its on the same subject so here I go.
I also struggle with IBS, don
t have a type, but its a combination of diarrhea and at times constipation, especially before my period. It started years ago I suspect, I remember having troubles with bowel movements since I was a child, it was more on the constipation side back then, but also then as it happens now, I tend to have urgent bowel movements in the most unfortunate moments. I do know it
s related to anxiety, but lately is intruding a lot in my life, especially my work life. I work as a massage therapist, used to work at a spa, but my problems started and I decided to do this at my home. I just started actually. The thing is I have bowel movements during the massage and have to leave client on the table telling some lie how I have to get something from the other room and other stuff - I do it quite quickly, if Im not in the constipation period. It also started to happen at the salon, it
s weird, the first months were totally fine, but I know I wasnt eating on a good schedule and at times I would skip meals and have large ones and all the bad stuff you can do when you
re with IBS, and at some point, I also had an episode of some sort of food poisoning and hell unlocked. I was also vegetarian for a year or so and I actually believe it has messed up a lot my digestion and IBS, I also became lactose intollerant recently. Btw, its not only the urgent bowel movements, but also the bloating, pain under the rib cage, can`t breath if a had a slightly larger meal and then changes in the stool, plus the rest…
My massage practice was a special and safe place to me, but it started not to be anymore. I also realise that sometimes it happens more when people also speak to me, which I do love, I love listening to them, maybe get a little unconfortable when I have to speak and say stuff. Lots of my clients like to talk to me though and I can
t just tell them to stop or to cut the conversation short. A while ago the urgent bowel movements happened when it was related to a romantic situation, it was very connected to the masculine side. I also remember times when I was healthy and fine, in the first two years of highschool, then I fell in love and lots of anxiety came back to me and thats the point when it started to intensify. It was also related to going in unknown places where I don
t know if Ill have a bathroom, or with strange people with whom I wouldn
t be comfortable sharing all this. If I would go with my uncle, for example, or with some family members, it wouldnt be a problem, but if I go with some new people, or recently met people to a barbeque, I would be very worried.
It feels so weird, I
m alsmost 29, this feels like such an imature response and issue, like not being able to control my bowel movements, it brings lots of shame, and now, frustration, because I want to keep doing what I do, meaning the massage. Now Im at home, I thought it would bring more tranquility for me, because at the salon I had a very passsive agressive boss and it was a weird vibe. I also have now worries because I might not have the same environment as a salon, yet, and I hope they feel comfortable… still, it
s debilitating and makes worried that Im never gonna be able to live a normal, peaceful life.August 31, 2022 at 2:12 am #406376HelcatParticipant
I used to have IBS, whilst of course, stress can be a factor. I found diet was a large component for me. My symptoms have largely resolved after dietary changes. As you noticed, the hormones before and at the start of your period are a trigger for IBS too.
Have you tried any of the diets that are recommended to help IBS yet?August 31, 2022 at 7:01 am #406378
m trying to get on a low FODMAP diet, its not easy since for one year I ate vegetarian and lots of the meals were high FODMAP, but I cut out dairy and the legumes that would cause gas and bloating, and reintroduced some chicken and fish. I have some troubles with sweets and still haven
t cut out gluten, so its kinda the next step. It feels quite hard though and lots of times stresses me out, also I live with my boyfriend who remained a vegetarian, so it`s always a bit of a drag when we do groceries and cook. I would also go to a nutritionist as soon as my bugdet is better.
Did you also used the low FODMAP? What worked for you?August 31, 2022 at 7:34 am #406380HelcatParticipant
I can tell that you are trying really hard to manage your diet in a healthy way.
I tried various diets, it’s been a bit of a journey lol. I totally empathise with how difficult it is.
Low fodmap, GERD, low glycemic index, dairy free and gluten free are all diets that I’ve tried. I think it has been helpful to find out which foods don’t seem to get on well with me.
I don’t seem to have problems with meat. I tend to err on the low fat side, avoiding fried foods etc. Like you I don’t get on well with dairy. Cauliflower and acidic foods don’t sit well either. I found that I have difficulty digesting very dry foods. So if I do eat a little of them I have to drink tea to help digest it. The hot and warm liquid helps to rehydrate it.
The western diet can include a ridiculous amount of wheat. I found that I’m able to tolerate it in smaller amounts. I try and vary the carbohydrate source in a day. Rice, oats, quinoa that type of thing.
I don’t get on well with artificial sweeteners either. Dark chocolate and fruit have become my new best friends. Water intake has been important too. I had a habit of not drinking enough especially when anxious.
Mental health drugs can impact digestion and food cravings too. It is challenging to manage.August 31, 2022 at 7:57 am #406381
Thank you, Anita and realy I send lots of good thoughts and love. Living with IBS it is always a surprise and not knowing when it will hit you… it requires lots of observation of our own bodies and mind, so congrats on being able to do so.
I might have to work on the acceptance side also, to accept that this is how I best function and to do it for myself, I tried so much to reconcile so many external needs, as being vegetarian or even vegan, by pleasing other people and being easy because although I always struggled with eating certain foods (my body just knew), at some point I ate anything so I`m not a burden when I go to parties, dinner invitation and other stuff, especially since I became a bit more social. It is quite a relief that you told me a lot of your symptoms got better with dier, hope mine too and will keep me more motivated.
Thank you again!August 31, 2022 at 11:57 am #406391AnonymousGuest
You wrote in your 3rd post above: “Thank you, Anita.. Thank you again!” – but you and I did not communicate on this thread before your most recent post which you addressed to me. In this thread I communicated at length with the original poster January – September 2021 and shared with her about my own experience with IBS. I think that in your most recent post, you confused me with another member.
You and I communicated back in June and July of 2020 in your own thread, and I am glad to read from you again! I read what you shared in your 3 posts in this thread regarding your IBS experience. Wikipedia reads in its entry on IBS/ Cause: “childhood physical and psychological abuse is often associated with the development of IBS“-
– In your own thread, you indeed described a childhood of physical and psychological abuse: “my childhood was bad, my father is an alcoholic.. he became very violent with my mom. My entire childhood was made of 2 weeks of good dad and then 3 weeks or more of drunk dad Who beat mom repeatedly… She also left to Italy to work and left me with my father at home.. I felt hurt and abandoned“.
Wikipedia in regard to IBS also reads: “ It is believed that psychological stress may trigger IBS in predisposed individuals“- reads to me that your “urgent bowel movements in the most unfortunate moments” are likely to be triggered by either what you ate before those moments and/ or by psychological stress.
You wrote: “I might have to work on the acceptance side also”- the serenity prayer says: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference“- I hope you can apply this prayer to your IBS situation.
Radical acceptance means to accept a situation without judgment, without hating the situation and wishing to change (the parts of it that cannot be changed at any one time). It means to stop fighting against what you cannot win. I think that if you find a way to incorporate radical acceptance to your IBS situation, it will help a lot.
Emotion regulation skills will no doubt help with your IBS situation in regard to the psychological stress factor. Back in your own thread we talked about it, and you wrote: “I will look into some emotional regulation skills and implement them“- have you?
I would love to read more from you, either on this thread or on your 2020 thread!
anitaSeptember 1, 2022 at 1:28 pm #406420
So sorry about the confusion, I saw you`re name above 😀
So also thank you Helcat for the responses and tips, I really do hope it will get getter as I work on my diet as well. I do feel sometimes like I lost touch with myself not knowing what works and what doesn`t for me.
Yes, I came here some time ago when I was really in a bad place emotionally, glad to be here also, sorry I come only when I`m in bad periods of my life. When I was younger I used to hang on forums as a everyday activity, almost like a hobby, I learned so much this way, now when adult life seems to take a lot of time and space, and of course other type of activities, I find myself reaching the forum when I need help.
Surprisingly I am better from an emotional point of view now, much more better than I was when I wrote in my thread, or at least I think I am. I made peace with lots of the issues exposed there, me and my boyfriend did a lot of individual work as well as therapy and we started seeing results in our relationship. Of course others issues arrised and I still surprise myself being jealous or even have a tendency to control the events or people, especially him, around me, it is a work in progress, it is also one of the most difficult thing I feel I have to do and although I have all the information, I read the books and know the therory, in practice I still need to work on it.
When the pandemic came close to an end I started facing people, reality and everyday life, with full time jobs and managing the time so I can do all the things I need to do daily, I was highly stressed. I struggled finding a place to work, a place where I can fit in and have that feeling of belonging. I loved doing massages at the salon, but as I mentioned my bosses were not the easiest and for other reasons actually I had to leave. I was also a facilitator in some projects we made with a group of international friends, it was quite a busy year.
You asked if I gained some emotional regulation skills. I did for some time, but I
ll admit Im not good with consitency. But I did them as I do now with this thread, I only practiced when I was low, when things got better, I didn`t give attention to them anymore. I guess I expected since I did them for a while, you benefit me for a lifetime, but I understand it is a daily practice.
For me I thought I was better, I still thing. I mean, I moved back in my country, I found something that I like to do, although I seem to struggle quite often financially and hardly have time or money for my passions…, still, the pandemic is over and we started seeing friends and dear people more often. Not sure now… during that period when I wrote my first thread, we were in the middle of the pandemic, but at the same time, I was in a program so I had a monthly income ensured without actually having to work, I would dedicate my energy and time to the relationship and myself… This year there were a lot of stuff, a lot of events, getting back on social life meant also to open the door to social anxiety. I didn
t have a proper holiday, even when I didnt have my job anymore, I worked on the project and also started looking for jobs and stress about my future. I also realised a while ago I feel a lot of fear, my heart stop with medium to loud noises, fear of possible bad events or situations and anything that could happen that can destroy my happy moments, because I also experienced a lot of good and happy moments this year.
Sorry for the long comment… just wrinting here made me realise some stuff, at least not to be so surprised why my IBS is more powerful now.
Thank you for being here for us! It is not easy to hold space for such issues in general. You have a golden heart!September 1, 2022 at 2:55 pm #406421AnonymousGuest
About the confusion- not a problem, nothing to apologize for: here, you are allowed to be confused if and whenever you are confused.
“I am better from an emotional point of view now, much better than I was when I wrote in my thread… I made peace with lots of the issues exposed there“- it shows.
“Me and my boyfriend did a lot of individual work as well as therapy and we started seeing results in our relationship“- good to read this!
Of course others issues arose.. It is a work in progress“- issues always arise and emotional healing is indeed a continuous, progressive process, it never ends and it is never complete.
“I have all the information I read the books and know the theory, in practice I still need to work on it“- exactly, emotional healing can start in theory but it has no practical value unless it’s… done in practice.
“You asked if I gained some emotional regulation skills. I did for some time… but I understand it is a daily practice“- emotion regulation is part of emotional health and it needs to be a daily practice: not a perfect-all-day practice, just a bit here and there, every day.
The key to emotion regulation is to not rush anything, to not go to extremes (all or nothing), to not expect perfection, but instead- to practice with a gentle, patient attitude and in moderation.
“The pandemic is over and we started seeing friends… getting back on social life meant also to open the door to social anxiety.. my IBS is more powerful now“- I remember when the pandemic started and people were isolated- lots of people’s anxiety improved for the reason you pointed to: less social interactions=> less social anxiety.
“Thank you for being here..“- you are welcome and thank you for being gracious and for being here!