Jane,

It’s tough to be a mother to an adult child who chooses not to take care of himself and one of his strategies is to guilt you, to manipulate you and others, to do everything but to take responsibility for his life.

Good for you to offer emotional support.  I suggest that it may be better to just let him be and have him contact you if he needs any non-financial support.  Put the ball in his court so he can figure out (or not) how to navigate his life.

Mark