Dear Rebecca:

I see the behavior of the weekend co worker that you described as subtle bullying: he is trying to make you feel bad and he succeeded- you are feeling dread working the weekends. I would treat it as any other bullying activity practiced by a bully, and that is to assert myself with him. Tell him you see what he is doing, trying to make you feel badly by purposefully excluding you. Best refer to the most recent behavior, right after he has done it. Say: I see what you just did, you said goodbye to everyone but not to me. I wish you didn’t try to hurt me, as you’ve been doing.

There may be a better way to assert yourself with his subtle bully, but asserting yourself somehow is a good idea, I believe.

anita

Dear Rebecca:

Reading your post above I remembered what I saw in a recent Country Fair- there was an exhibit of a few young pigs- three of them were grey or brown (I don’t remember) and one was white. The three grey pigs were bullying the white one non-stop. I wanted to get in there and slap the three silly. I was so annoyed. They kept poking the white one who was doing nothing to them but trying to get away. They kept at it, poking and pushing him.

Visibly clear, the one bullied was the white one, the different one, the one that stood out. Possibly, in your case, you are the empathetic worker, the one that stands out. Do you think that is the reason?

anita