July 29, 2022 at 2:10 pm #404725HelcatParticipant
Hi Silent Rossi
I would agree, honesty and communication are important in relationships. I think a partner with those traits sounds ideal. Perhaps you are too hard on yourself and you have a better understanding of what you would like in a romantic partner than you realised?
Regarding bullying from peers. Children and teenagers can be sociopathic. A lot of people mature in their 20s and 30s. There are some good people out there, I promise. I hope that on your quest to find a partner you meet some kind people that value compassion as much as you do.July 30, 2022 at 2:05 am #404744Silent RossiParticipant
Regarding your question, I think it would be the same for any relationship. It is the same with a few friends I made in last years. I would be a friend for them for my own sake, and I wouldn’t expect the same from them.
I have another very old friend with unhealthy lifestyle. When something unpleasant happens in his life or he needed help, I would help. Because it is good for him and it’s good for me. It pleases me to know that at least some people get to have support that I didn’t.
When I asked a small (but significant for me) favor from that friend, he failed to deliver. Sure enough, people might neglect others for various and valid reasons, but at least I won’t be the worse for it.
I think self-reliance is a virtue, and that putting any trust in a person has to be a well-observed and careful affair.
One old guru said that love is a one-way traffic, giving without expecting anything in return. Truly, I don’t know if this is my twisted version of it.
I would be glad to continue chugging along in my own solitude, but I found out that this is not how human nature operates. And, well, we are all humans.July 30, 2022 at 8:01 am #404751anitaParticipant
Dear Silent Rossi:
In my first reply to you, after reading your original post, I wrote that there is a simple, straightforward, bare and rare honesty in your writing that I didn’t encounter before, no wishful thinking or fantasy, no rationalizations (convenient yet untrue explanations), no efforts to make yourself look better or worse than you are, and all with a touch of decency. Six of your posts later, and I feel proud of myself for getting it right: you really are these things I mentioned in my first reply, only that I see a heavier touch of decency now than I saw before.
Here is an amazingly honest and straightforward sentence in your recent post that sums up much of your philosophy of life so succinctly : “I think self-reliance is a virtue, and that putting any trust in a person has to be a well-observed and careful affair“. (I agree).
“I would be glad to continue chugging along in my own solitude, but I found out that this is not how human nature operates. And, well, we are all humans” – human nature is social, and there is nothing you (or I) can do to change this fact.
In regard to the title of your thread (Not good enough for any girl)- I disagree: I think that you are more than good enough for many girls because of all that I mentioned above, your intelligence, your emotional self-reliance and one more thing: there are women who do not want to be seen or treated as sexual creatures, they want to be seen as sexless, or asexual humans, they crave it and you would be rare find for such a girl who also cares about rare honesty, decency etc.
asexual dating site, com: “If you’re into a different type of relationships, join our Asexual Dating Site and meet singles who hold dear other values besides intercourse! Physical intimacy is a component of dating which is, in many cases pretty much expected these days! As such, dating for those who consider themselves asexual can be quite a daunting task. Thanks to our website you can make your dream come true. Visit Asexual Dating Site and find someone just like you, someone special!…”
asexual dating service. com: “For many asexual singles who decide to take the internet dating route to try and find a partner, most sites really do fail to deliver… Our site caters specifically to American asexual singles. We felt it was time for a dedicated sites that could help asexual beings find each other online. Just because people are asexual, it doesn’t mean they’re not looking for romance or aren’t interested in going on a date with someone! It’s a common misconception and one that many of our members have faced in their lives. One of the reasons why our site has grown so quickly is because our pages are free of such misunderstandings because the groundwork is already laid. Since all of our members identify themselves as being asexual, there are no awkward questions or ill-informed judgements made; just lots of awesome people looking to have a good time with each other…”.
anitaJuly 30, 2022 at 10:39 am #404755Silent RossiParticipant
Thank you for encouraging words.
Also I don’t think I’m asexual, I appreciate the thought.
I have to admit, I am surprised to find the input of all three people here to be more helpful than it has any right to be.
I’ll be on my way then. Thank you.July 30, 2022 at 11:03 am #404757anitaParticipant
Dear Silent Rossi:
You are welcome and if you ever need to post again, on any topic (here or in a new thread), you are welcome to do so. My best wishes for you!