February 14, 2018 at 11:30 pm #192591AnonymousInactive
This is weird and I’m hoping someone has an insight into this.
My boyfriend is a big guy (tall) and though he’s not obese…he’s not in great shape. He’s probably high average in weight with his size considered.
The thing I’m wondering is, he has been drinking less (or thats at least what he’s telling me), but I am not seeing him lose much weight. Not that I’m expecting that, but he doesn’t eat much and he says he’s cut back drinking, so it doesn’t really add up to me.
Any explanation for this? I hate to say this, but I don’t really trust that he has actually cut back on drinking.
SFebruary 15, 2018 at 7:28 am #192645MarkParticipant
Are you concerned if he is lying to you or not? Or do you care more if he is drinking? Or that you want him to weigh less?
My take is that it does not matter whether he loses weight or not if you like him the way he is now. Or whether he is drinking less because you didn’t mind his drinking in the first place.
BUT if you do mind that he is heavy or if you do mind that he drinks a lot then that’s another issue.
MarkFebruary 15, 2018 at 7:48 am #192647anitaParticipant
Maybe he doesn’t eat much at any one time, but snacking through the day does add up.
Suspicion is what I read in your post, looking for evidence that he may be lying to you. From previous threads, this guy has given you no evidence of deception. A guy before him, one you shared about almost two years ago did deceive you, if I remember correctly. But not his guy.
What do you think?
anitaFebruary 15, 2018 at 9:33 am #192691MarkParticipant
I found your other postings especially about the one of your concern about your boyfriend’s drinking.
If you are going to stay with him then I encourage you to go to Al-anon. This is a support group that have friends, family and loved ones who have an addict/alcoholic in their lives. It will help you recognize that your worries and concerns are not unusually and what to do about them.
I take the approach that people are going to do what they are going to do no matter what I say or do, especially those who are addicts. I cannot change them. I can only change myself. The person who is responsible to change is that person themself. I am only responsible for me, not my partner.
I can only express my concern, love, and boundaries about what is acceptable. I value clear and honest communication in all relationships. It is up to you to decide how acceptable it is if your boyfriend lies about significant things that are against your core values and exhibits behavior that affects the relationship.
MarkJuly 8, 2018 at 4:51 am #215853JohnParticipant
Now a days this isn’t not a big issue losing weight. There have some good supplements which helps to lose weight within few months. Just search on google for this.July 22, 2018 at 4:36 am #218067mariaParticipant
Are you interested in taking pills or something like that? I have heard juice or pills might work for you. all the best!