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OK, come clean, how many of you are there?

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  • September 22, 2015 at 4:22 pm #83873
    jock
    Participant

    This will be ongoing. I think it is a worthy exercise for anyone interested in increasing self-awareness.
    I’ll just identify a few characters/voices/masks that make up the internal me. I’ll add some later as I think of them.

    Pious Pete- this guy tries to live up to Christian ideals. He tends to be judgemental though and is ashamed of having “sinful” thoughts. Example; anger, sexual fantasies, resentment. He is not self-aware. He is controlling, self-righteous, tries to have pure thoughts all the time. He can come across as a nice guy. What he really is addicted to, is being well-thought of by others.

    Llama Jack- this guy thinks he is funny and he is sometimes. he likes to be sarcastic and come across as if he doesn’t give a hoot. He can be bullyish towards himself and others. His main claim to fame is caricature of self and others. he is childish, the inner child and irresponsible. He can morph into an egomaniac but if kept on a leash, he is good value and helps the rest of my inner selves to see the funny side of life. He is kind of intelligent and insightful and able to point out the absurdity of life and taking oneself too seriously. I think overall his contribution is high towards my survival and overall happiness,

    September 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm #83874
    jock
    Participant

    Neurotic Norman- as the name suggests he blames himself for everything and always second guesses himself. If in an argument with someone, he will doubt himself first and defer to the other person. “he must be right”. Good friends of Polite Paul. He can spend hours after an event, beating himself up over his lack of competence.
    Polite Paul- this guy likes good manners to the extreme. He’ll get annoyed at the slightest thing a waiter or waitress doesn’t do. “did you see the way that waitress just slammed that plate on the table?” He is also good friends of Analytical Alan.
    Analytical Alan. This guy loves analysing and hates the present moment. He’ll spend hours trying to critique himself and others. Good friend of Ruminator Ron.
    Ruminator Ron. This guy loves brooding over past events, focussing on the negatives and blowing them out of all proportion. Then he replays events with him looking like an idiot and get more angry every time he replays it. This guy needs a counsellor asap. He is unlikeable.

    September 22, 2015 at 6:51 pm #83878
    jock
    Participant

    Looking back at this now, I think I’m often in Analytical Alan mode; some of it useful, much of it not.

    September 22, 2015 at 7:03 pm #83881
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Pious Pete:
    I was once a born again Christian, kind of, had an affair with jesus is how I will put it. Loved the idea of being pure. At times I felt pure. A wonderful delusional feeling. I understand.

    Dear Llama Jack:
    Still your fan. Please keep taking good care of Jack: he needs you so. We all do.

    Dear Neurotic Norman:
    I am sorry for your pain. I know it. I automatically believed everyone else is right and I am wrong. It was terrible which is why I was a born again for a little while. And almost a jehova witness too.

    Dear Polite Paul:
    What are the rules about passing gas in public and in private? I really, really want to know this.

    Dear Ruminator Ron:
    Done that a lot. My solution: keep my life free of events, keep a life where nothing happens and therefore nothing to ruminate about.

    Dear Analytical Alan:
    I have nothing for you.

    anita

    September 22, 2015 at 8:18 pm #83884
    jock
    Participant

    My solution: keep my life free of events, keep a life where nothing happens and therefore nothing to ruminate about.

    Your post was amusing and insightful. This quote was probably my favourite. Thanks authentic anita!

    September 22, 2015 at 8:26 pm #83885
    jock
    Participant

    an affair with Jesus! 🙂

    September 22, 2015 at 9:41 pm #83890
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m impressed with your ability to strip off all those masks to look objectively at them. The bit I can’t get my head round was in that post… who was doing the talking? It was none of those people because none of those people you described would talk about themselves like that. Either way these voices and people are not us. They’re just cloaks we put on. Pick the bits you like out of each of those and use them to help you through tricky moments

    No one’s got it all together, man.

    The one constant in your crowd of people in there is you. Not one of these people exist without you. You created them all. They didn’t create you.

    September 22, 2015 at 10:02 pm #83893
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Haha, well i would say i dont know. I still surprise myself 😀 😉

    September 22, 2015 at 11:53 pm #83900
    jock
    Participant

    The bit I can’t get my head round was in that post… who was doing the talking?

    Oh that’s Jumpin’ Jehovah Jack. I haven’t introduced him yet.

    September 23, 2015 at 2:29 am #83902
    jock
    Participant

    Hypochondriac Henry
    This guy thinks “Cancer”, if he has any minor symptom like a headache, cough or sniffle. Then he googles “headache” and reads all the potential diseases or conditions. He’s a worrier and he takes longer than normal to recover from a real illness. Also he gets easily distracted in meditation, thinking about different parts of his body and wondering if that little ache in his ankle is a sign of something more serious.
    Animalistic Abe
    This guy is addicted to creature comforts. Couch sweet potato, food glorious food, what’s in the fridge ? mentality, have a beer to celebrate sunset, have biscuits to go with your laptop, enjoys hot baths, values his dreamtime sleeptime, let’s have dessert and why not another choc? Abe has no motivation except to eat, relax and escape more serious colleagues such as Ruminator Ron.

    September 23, 2015 at 2:41 am #83903
    jock
    Participant

    Please no pressure Percy
    This guy hates being in the hot seat. He can’t take pressure especially when his boss is watching him do something. Public speaking? One of his greatest fears. He has never learnt to handle performance anxiety. This has affected his career badly. So bad, he is more often than not looking for a job than actually doing one. He is a good friend to Zero self-esteem Zac.
    Zero self-esteem Zac
    Something happened in childhood. Still trying to pinpoint it. Possibly sibling related. He has never really believed he is good enough in important areas such as social skills, relating confidently to others especially in big groups. Also has no confidence in dealing with pragmatic issues such as fixing things at home. Lacks common sense often.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by jock.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by jock.
    September 23, 2015 at 5:18 am #83909
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    wowzers. what a party in there. you look like you’re having fun describing them. It looks to me like you like these people or you wouldn’t be friends with them.

    I’ll be looking forward in my stay here to see snippets of the real person in there. I can see he’s not coming out to play right now but there’s no rush

    😉

    September 23, 2015 at 8:18 am #83914
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Zero self-esteem Zack: have a similar one myself: zero confidence in fixing or operating anything requiring my hands, other than typing here. This part of me feels comfortable with concepts but not with things.

    Please no pressure Percy: I feel pressure if somebody is looking at me anytime. “What is he thinking?” I am thinking. “What am I doing wrong?” Performance anxiety: cleaning the kitchen causes me such performance anxiety (even when not watched, which is a condition for me to attempt such project) that I get so very distressed, moaning and groaning. I do very little therefore.

    Animalistic Abe: again, relating. Sometimes I think that this part is why I keep living, for the next cocoa anything (the chocolate flavor… need it, want it, need it). This part of me used to take over and still it goes crazy with agitation, that excitement. I am learning to manage it, that is control myself kindly. (not as in the past and as is still my tendency, to over control it)

    Hypochondriac Henry: It scares me just to write about this, so I won’t.

    Thank you for this highly informative, still in progress, I presume, humorous and entertaining and glorious post, Jehovah Jack!

    anita

    September 23, 2015 at 9:33 am #83922
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    But these are al just parts of our personalities. They’re not personalitie in their own right – it’s just stuff. Why let these little quirks OWN you?

    That’s the bit I cant understand

    I hate my teeth and smile -is there a personality for that? I hate talking because I’m convinced no one is really interested so I talk incredibly fast to stop them being bored. is there a personality for that?

    I hate big crowds. I get intimidated with certain people for no reason – is there a personality for that? I always feel fat and ugly even though I am perfectly aware I am not – who’s that person?

    No! there isn’t! its just the bits of us that go towards making up the whole. all of it is easily work-on-able. I’m not going to be shy forever. I’m not going to talk too fast for ever – tomorrow I’m going to take a deep breath and take a chance with someone I know loves me enough to let me try and talk slowly on a chosen topic

    It’s great that you objectivise and separate these factors of you but I’m watching you both… let them own you. really> but you created them , how can they own you?

    September 23, 2015 at 10:22 am #83924
    jock
    Participant

    the process of writing them helps me. it’s like self-therapy. I know they aren’t completely accurate but the process helps me to cope with life. Yeah it’s fun. maybe llama jack is running the show, who knows..

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