Hi Jack- I love that you posted this. I’ve done a similar exercise before and have a few kooky ladies of my own running around in my head (that makes it sound a bit like multiple personalities, but I get that that’s not what this is). I feel a little sad and protective of Ruminator Ron- I have my own ruminator (Sally Ann) who I used to despise with a passion. I mean, HATE. An insightful therapist once asked me how I was getting along with this part of myself, and my sarcastic response was that I alternated between wanting to smother her with a pillow and lock her in a closet. To the parts of us that just want to have fun and be free from pain, Sally Ann and Ron are probably desperately annoying and clingy sometimes. For the love of it, why can’t they just shut up and loosen the F up?

But Sally Ann’s a pragmatic gal, and she sees the cracks and won’t ignore them. She refuses to sweep upsetting things under the rug, and for that quality, she’s a valuable member of my mental team. She’s a little more likeable if I step into her shoes and realize that she’s helped steer me away from a few life catastrophies. Maybe the same is true for Ron?

Hahaha 🙂 yeah I could do without those too. They definitely take it too far sometimes. Maybe Sally Ann takes on both roles (analyzer & ruminator) for me because I tend to be more of a feeler than a thinker. Honestly, Sally Ann doesn’t usually relax until I can sit down and just have a good old fashioned cry with her. I have to feel what she’s feeling, instead of rolling my eyes in exasperation, otherwise she’ll never quiet down. Even then it can take several times over before she’s comforted into silence. And if I’m not getting good sleep, you can forget about it. That will be a multi-day process to soothe her (just finished a round of that recently, actually). And eventually she will come back to it, because that’s simply how she is. Metaphorically I guess she’s sort of a special-needs child (to be clear, I’m not trying to diminish that experience, for any parents out there that might be reading).

Is it like that for you at all? Will Ruminator Ron put down the remote if you sit and have a big old sob-fest with him?

I only ask Sally Ann to leave or quiet down if something else is at stake- like when I’m at work, for example. But I’m okay with that. When I’m at work or out doing something, it’s not always the most appropriate place to feel & express my emotions for the fullest. You can’t exactly sit down for a cry in the middle of your grocery shopping. Anyway, I’m getting carried away with musings now.

It helps me too. And in the end, what matters more than that? People without anxiety or depression may not get it, but who cares. And maybe it would be odd to extroverts, but to be frank there are a lot of things extroverts do that I just don’t fully get either.

Thanks for your replies Jack. It’s really nice to know I’m not the only one out there with a gang of pals in my head that require wrangling from time to time. 😉

Dear Jack,

Interesting topic!
I wonder, how long did it take you, to identify all those different aspects? I think i might need quite a while to figure all of them out.

A while ago, somebody made me aware of this, and she referred to a book called ‘Voice Dialogue’ – if i remember well.
She compared it to be a busdriver, where you have a lot of different people who all have something to say, and you have to drive the bus safely and efficiently to his destination. That we need to learn, to recognise them but decide who gets to say his say when. Something like that.

I don’t have any insight in those different aspects in myself, and i think it would be good to take a look at it. To be able to identify: this is Scared Sann, this good-hearted Gerda, this is Wise Wendy, this is Anxious Andrea, this is Brave Betty, this is Naive Natalie… Is it good to let them have their say now, or should i tell him or her, to sit on his chair and let somebody else have the show..?

Sorry, i hope i’m not disturbing your topic.
But i wanted to say that i’m impressed with the thoroughness you can identify all of them.
Do you do much negotiation work between them, or do they get to have their go when they want?